Day 2- 100 day challenge

Due date: 10 April 2010

It's not easy to eliminate all flours, sugars and dairy immediately. You have to read everything that is in a package. Why is cane sugar in everything? Sigh.

Today has not been a big food day. I better get better or I will alarm my mother

2 eggs scrambled, roasted potatoes, beans
2 cups of chamomile tea
2 glasses of water
3 oranges
1/2 apple
a handful of almonds
small bag of popcorn
bowl of tomatoe soup
Trich- 30 seconds

Over the years, I definitely see a pattern of becoming preoccupied with the attention of certain men. I could list them, but lets not go there. But what I can list is that they have all been creative, aloof, independent, good looking, great kissers. And I become so preoccupied that I begin to obsess over my own shortfalls and insecurities. Why? Oddly, the same qualities I describe these men are qualities I also have. I think it's some kind of break in my psyche that has become disconnected from my inner male, so when I meet these men that resonate with this piece of me, I cling to them in some way of feeling complete?? But how did the break happen in the first place?

I usually attribute all my problems with intimacy/ men to the death of my grandfather when I was 5. My grandfather adored me and I adored him. He would wait on the porch step for me and gleem in delight when I ran down the path. Pure joy. It was pure joy for him to see me and I knew it. I doubt I was able to process his death properly at 5. When I think of these men that I become so strongly attracted to, I have wanted all of them to adore me and hold me and protect me, like my grandfather. They've all had this feeling to me that I could fall into their eyes and arms and somehow magically everything would be alright.

Naturally, this isn't possible. These men are not my grandfather. I don't think my grandfather was particularly aloof, but maybe he appeared that out of reach for my 5 yr old mind. I don't know really what it is, I just see a pattern and it bothers me. It's happened again and I'm preoccupied and anxious and trying to make sure they keep paying attention to me. Really, I need to pay attention to myself and fill my own needs and be deliciously thrilled to see me.

Know what I mean? Sometimes you just need to talk about it a bit too. It's a bit silly, but the feelings are really powerful and I don't really understand why. By the way, Clint Eastwood could be one of these magical men. Its a combination of the blue eyes, creative spirit, working hands, and a smell of dust and tobacco. If you're prone to jeans and t shirts, I could fall in love with you.

It's a new year.

It's Jan 1. It's a time for rituals, reflections, and resolutions. Some people reflect on the year and set goals for the new one. Some cleanse themselves of past transgressions. Some part take in the ritual of the annual Vancouver Polar Bear Swim at English Bay. And some get dressed up in hot pink bikini bottoms and encase themselves in a giant bubble.

Onwards and upwards 2010. It's going to be an interesting year.

Day 1- 100 day challenge

Due date: 10 April 2010

I've challenge my self starting Jan 1, to eliminate sugars, flours and dairy products from my diet. By default, that leaves me with whole grains, nuts, beans, vegetables, fruits, meat, poultry, fish and water.And too blog everyday about it.

Today I started the Wild Rose Cleanse. It helps get you on the good food and off the bad.

Off to English Bay to photograph the Polar Bear Swim

Breakfast- large bowl of mixed greens, a few dates, half an apple dressed with oil, vinegar and 1/4 white onion. 2 glasses of water.

Dinner- small salad; dressed with lemon juice & oil. Organic meat patty; no bun, side order of fries, black coffee, water

auld lang syne

The new year rose unfolds. I always find the ends of cycles to be auspicious. The beginning of weeks, months, years, birthdays all seem to hold a stronger spark of opportunity for a fresh start for me. I'm bound in some way by cycles, feeling at times that something must run its course, or that I'm compelled and held in a loop.

I don't have very many resolves for the new year, but only a few:

To live a more honest life with trichotillomania and be held back by it less. It's a course that's been running in my life for a long time and I've been terribly disappointed when a new cycle starts and it tags along into the new years, new birthdays. I vow to love it like a funny child that needs to hold my hand and less like a heavy weight on my heart.

To enrich my diet with fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains/ beans, organic and ethical meats, and plenty of loved water. To eliminate dairy, flours, and sugars (except for the odd teaspoon of Cuban honey)

To display my creativity more often. To have a show of my photography.

To live a more balanced and enriched life with work, exercise, and fun.

To give more love, kindness, support and patience to people.

To dance more often.

To be Jill.

for you B, sweet friend

Seasons cold that push the frost
hiding from the clock time ticking.
The chickadee cries wait wait..
she's still playing in the tall wheat grass picking.

For the peek a boo of lovers,
waiting for breeze the summer warms.
Electricity comes on the coattails of the sparrow
when the nighttime turns to darkened storms.

Sun beams through the old farm windows
your gaze peeking through the seasons of my life.
The hide and seek of friendship,
cut up for children, a cake with a golden knife

One day she will take that lovely creature
wrap them up with feathers from her nest
and play the tiny birdsong of words
where her eyes speak and the heart knows the rest

the trapeze act

I'm going back to school. I think. First stop.. my GED. Next stop Biology 12. I'm going to try and open a few doors and windows.

Then I'll jump through some hoops, do a few summersaults and jumping jack or two and feel less like a caged monkey and on my way to ringleader extrodanaire.

Life is a god damn circus, doncha know.

Maybe I'll blog about being a shiftless 37 year old who starts to walk down the yellow brick road, get famous. It'll all be turned into a movie and Natalie Portman will play me.

I watched Julie & Julia tonight. It was good and I enjoyed it. But I enjoyed it less for the entertainment of it and more for the parallel I felt towards it. Julia Child was 37 and hadn't found a career and didn't know what to do with herself. Ok, she was also married, had come from a family with money and was living in Paris with her diplomat husband.

The fact is she was unfocused and untrained at 37. Much like me.

Julie was in a dead end secretarial job, living with her husband and a cat when she started a blog on cooking her way through Julia Child's - Mastering the Art of French Cooking. Inadvertantly rescuing her from a drowning feeling and inertia of going nowhere.

I live with my boyfriend and a cat and have a sinking feeling in my stomach that if I don't do something about my sinking feeling it might get worse.

I don't think I'm going to cook my way through a book or run off to Paris, but I sure which I knew what was going to do.

in honor of my mother

Because I know that she'd rather I hadn't colored all over my arms, but she still makes lovely and supportive comments and says the work is pretty. By the way, thanks for letting me draw all over my bedroom walls in black permanent marker. No matter how many coats of paint, you could still read the lyrics to a Beatles song. I only wish we'd taken photos of that.

One of my favorite recipes from my mom.. its dinner tonight. Looking forward to seeing you in 15 days.

Smothered Chicken

4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1 tsp salt
1 tsp coarsely ground black pepper
1 tbsp vegetable oil
2 cups diagonally sliced carrots
1 cup sliced onion
1 garlic clove, minced
2 (8 once) packages pre=sliced mushrooms- I ignore this.
1/4 cup all purpose flour
1 14.5 ounce can fat free chicken broth
1 tbsp chopped fresh or 1 tsp dried thyme
Chopped fresh chives (optional)

Brown chicken in a skillet over medium heat. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Remove.

Heat oil in pan; add carrots, onion, and garlic. Cook 2 minutes. Add mushrooms; cook 5 minutes until vegetables are tender. Sprinkle with flour; cook 2 minutes, stirring constantly.

Add broth and thyme, bring to a boil and cook until slightly thickened. Return chicken to the pan. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer 10 minutes until chicken is done. Garnish with chives if desired.

Yield 4 servings.

Note: I put in a slow over (280 – 300) and cook for 2-3 several hours like a stew. Often add more broth to make sure I have lots of gravy and serve with mashed potatoes.

little birds

IMGP5068, originally uploaded by jilly71.

See a whole bunch more here..

ooohhhhh oooohhh you look like a little monkey

NaBloPoMo #30

Sure, I think I cheated once or 3 times and post dated my posts, but who's watching? Just my mother, my aunt, my sister and my cousin.

Seriously.. doesn't anybody else read my blog???

NaBloPoMo #30

The first 3 people who leave a comment identifying themselves as a regular reader of MKP will get something special from me.

NaBloPoMo #29

I really like Pomegranate's. Especially now, when they're in season. You can get ones that are as big as a baby's head at Granville Island.

Here's a few funny facts:

- Native of Iran, immigrated to California in 1769
-grown on a rounded shrub or tree, typically 12 ft
-varieties can live as long as 200 yrs, but tend to be a bit bunk on production after 15
-seeds in guacamole are exceptionally a good idea but there are a zillion things to do with them
-high in Vit C, potassium
-some scholars put the pomegranate in the Garden of Eden instead of the apple. (But then you'd have to believe in the creationist theory. I'm an evolutionist.)
- The Q'Uarn lists the pomegranate the fruit that grows in the the Garden of Paradise.
-it's easier to get the seeds if you peel them under water, but not nearly as much fun
-the juice will permanently stain a white tshirt. Tested and true
-Cleopatra used the seeds for lipstick- apparently and ancient Egyptians were buried with them
-there are 760 varieties

NaBloPoMo #28

colored in, originally uploaded by jilly71.

NaBloPoMo #27

The H1N1 is a controversial topic, isn't it. Now that I have achey bones, a sore throat and a head that feels like a cast iron balloon I'm getting the "are you gonna get it" question.

I have to say that the answer is no. And I'm going to put up a few videos and links because I'm really not feeling well and would rather be back on the couch with some HaggenDaz and the remote control.

There's this one that talks about the controversy behind the immunizations for the "Swine Flu Epidemic of 1976"

Swine Flu 1976 & Propaganda
Uploaded by Dianequiose-4. - See video of the biggest web video personalities.

Then there's this more recent one of a cheerleader (isn't it always them?) who got the immunization and had a severe neurological disorder that caused her to loose her ability to walk and talk unless she was moving backwards. Kind of sounds like something out of a science fiction horror movie.


Moving on, there's the fact that a Baxter- a major drug company, applied for the patent on the immunization 10 months before the news broke about Swine Flu. Call me crazy, but that's crazy.

See the patent application here..

I wonder how their stock is doing..

I read this here:

"Companies working on swine flu vaccines include Sanofi- Aventis SA, based in Paris, GlaxoSmithKline Plc and AstraZeneca Plc, both based in London, CSL Ltd. of Melbourne and Novartis AG, based in Basel, Switzerland. And of course, Baxter International Inc. , based in Deerfield, Illinois, has contracts with five countries for 80 million doses and has stopped taking new orders that it may not be able to fill….The swine flu pandemic will be a boon to the company this year and mutations in H1N1 and other strains may create a lasting new business for the company"

Really, a boon you say? Sounds like 'good business'. And then this..

"Baxter’s stock is performing well even though ,”Baxter sent vaccines contaminated with deadly live H5N1 avian flu virus to 18 countries before someone caught the mistake and the vaccine got injected thousands of people. Baxter just missed creating its own pandemic then by mixing deadly H5N1 virus with a mix of H3N2 seasonal flu viruses, or did they? By possibly creating the pandemic, maybe Baxter already has the cure and that is why WHO has deemed them the appropriate pharmaceutical company to lead the way for a swine flu vaccine. Keep in mind- Just 50 miles from the H1N1 ground zero outbreak in Mexico City, lies Baxter’s manufacturing plant in Cuernavaca, Mexico."


I think you get my point. I think I'm only left to follow the good advice of my mother.. get alot of rest and eat your fruits and veggies..and maybe this..

NaBloPoMo #25

I live with a cat named Ruby and a relocated Brit named Michael. Michael and Ruby have a special bond. I think they have a past life connection. Ruby will be all "whatever" and Michael comes home and she's perky and races around, running over to him and will stand there with a wistful look in her eye. Then, she'll lift one paw up and mew gently as if to say, "hello lover, pet me." It's kind of weird, really. She does it alot so its no coincidence. The cat really does have a fondness for Michael.

So, Michael has this theory about Ruby- that she thinks we can control everything. We turn off the lights, we open the door, we leave for long periods of time and its dark and then we come back and its light again. We are the gods of her world. With the 3 possible exists to the apartment, he's convinced that it is a different reality for each one for her. The fact that we can provide access to these portals enhances our god like existence in her life.

So, he believes that Ruby thinks that we are in charge of what he calls the rain machine. When it rains, Ruby goes to her kitty door ( the one she can control to gain access to the outside world), comes back, looks at Michael and goes back to the door and does this repeatedly. He thinks it's Ruby's way of saying, "please turn off the rain."

It's kind of funny. Poor kitty.

pink nose, originally uploaded by jilly71.

NaBloPoMo #24

I'm back to writing lists...

10 places I would like to live

1. House boat
2. House boat in Amsterdam
3. Paris but only in Montparnasse and only with shuttered windows and red begonias.
4. Edinburgh but only with a mountain of sweaters and a sunny disposition.
5. Hostel anywhere in the world as long as I owned it
6. The Farm
7. The Chelsea Hotel
8. one of those really cute one bdrm houses in the river valley of Edmonton
9. Havana but only if I could speak Spanish.
10. Here.. (Rue due Lac no.6, Brussels. Built in 1904 by architect Ernest Delune. The stylized facade is one of the most original examples of Art Nouveau in Brussels.)

NaBloPoMo #23

My mother is going to Cuba. Albeit, she's going to Varadero and staying in a resort, and that's as far away from Cuba in Cuba as you can get, but at least she'll be on the island. Rumor has it she'll leave her compound of all things familiar in North America and venture to Havana. She'll wish she got off the white sand beach, tourquise waters, toilet paper and swan towel sculptures sooner for the old cars, crumbling architecture, street artists, wafting Spanish guitars from parks and plazas and sad but calm resolve of Fidel's Havana.

I've asked her to bring me back my treasured Cuban Honey.

NaBloPoMo #22

All these years I thought I had Shepard's Pie in the bag. I'd made it so many times before, it was a no brainer. So, I tell the boyfriend, that's what I'm making for dinner and he just about falls out of his chair. I'm going to cook lamb? He thinks incredulously. Ya, that would be incredible. But I say, no of course not. Then he's all like.. well you're making cottage pie not Shepard's Pie and then and politely, with accent, explains the difference.. Did you really think Shepard's Pie didn't include the flock of the Shepard? Um no, I guess not. Why the hell do they call it Cottage Pie then? I guess it refers to the scraps in the house.

Oh well.

Brown a 1/b of lean ground beef. I buy ground beef only from a butcher. I don't trust grinding facilities in Safeway or any other major grocery store and neither should you.

Add 2-3 carrots, and an onion chopped

Brown for 5 minutes or until meat is no longer pink

Add 1tbsp flour, 1tsp allspice and 1tbsp mixed dry herbs (thyme, basil, marjoram, etc..)

Mix 1 1/2 cups beef broth with 1tbsp tomato paste, add to beef and simmer until fluid almost absorbed.

Meanwhile.. boil potatoes, drain and mash with butter & milk

Spoon meat into casserole dish, add a can of corn, top with mashed potatoes. Sprinkle with a bit of cheddar cheese.

Bake in 350'F oven for 30 minutes or until the boyfriend comes home.

NaBloPoMo #21

Today I went to Bowen Island on the water taxi from Granville Island. It's a $25 return trip. Quaint. The boat trip was the best bit. It was kind of a covered speed boat that bounced and swerved through the choppy water, swerving to miss the logs. Through False Creek, under the Burrard bridge and up along West Van, around the corner from Lighthouse Park and we were on Bowen.

There wasn't too much to see without quite a hike up the hill. A few shops, a soap seller, an antique shop, a bakery and a restaurant or 2. I wandered around, chatted with people and bought some soap and a handknit hat.

It rained and was cold. I left early. Pictures later.

NaBloPoMo #21

Today I went to Bowen Island on the water taxi from Granville Island. It's a $25 return trip. Quaint. The boat trip was the best bit. It was kind of a covered speed boat that bounced and swerved through the choppy water, swerving to miss the logs. Through False Creek, under the Burrard bridge and up along West Van, around the corner from Lighthouse Park and we were on Bowen.

There wasn't too much to see without quite a hike up the hill. A few shops, a soap seller, an antique shop, a bakery and a restaurant or 2. I wandered around, chatted with people and bought some soap and a handknit hat.

It rained and was cold. I left early. Pictures later.

NaBloPoMo #20

don't toy with me, originally uploaded by jilly71.

NaBloPoMo #19

20 bath items in my bathroom...all from Lush.. (if you know me you know why)

1. Aura Suavis Shower Gel 2 bottles
2. Olive Branch Shower Gel
3. Be Never to Busy to be Beautiful Shower Gel
4. Prince Shaving Cream
5. Razorantium Shaving Cream
6. Karma Shower Gel
7. Jasmin & Henna Fluff Eaze
8. Butterball Showe Gel
9. Rehab Shampoo
10. Dr. Peppermint Shampoo Bar
11. Karma Soap
12. Demon in the Dark Soap
13. Gentil Lentil Solid Conditioner
14. Star Melt Bath melt
15. So White Bath Bomb
16. Big Blue Bath Bomb
17. Ego Massage Bar
18. Into Thin Air Massage bar
19. Sunny Citrus Soap
20. Schnuggle Body Butter

NaBloPoMo #18

ochre, originally uploaded by jilly71.

Did I mention it's raining. Let's put something sunny up.

NaBloPoMo #17

10 books on my bookshelf in no particular order and a bit on how I came to have the book...

1. Do It- Jerry Rubin- I used to babysit for a couple with 2 kids when I was in Grade 7 or 8. The man worked for the Edmonton Journal- they had been hippies in the 60's and I revelled in their record collection when left in their home. They had Do It on a book shelf and I vowed to have a copy one day. I was fascinated with the 60's for good chunk of my teen years.

2. The World Encyclopedia of Cheese- Juliet Harbutt- I worked in a deli with approx 300 variations of cheese. In the downtime, I read the background stories and around my late 20's was pretty interested in it. I still am when I'm within sight of a good cheese counter. I think they're the "brand new antique".

3. Strathcona Composite High School yearbook 1987-88- It's what you did. You got the yearbook and got it signed by your friends.

4. On Photography- Susan Sontag- I had a thing for a local photographer who once worked for National Geographic. I thought he was interesting. He had a yard sale and was selling the book. I bought it to impress him. I didn't.

5. Confederacy of the Dunces- John Kennedy O'Toole- I was tricked out on New Orleans for a while and wanted to go to the Jazz and Heritage Festival (I've NEVER wanted to go to Mardi Gras). I used to talk to someone who worked in the Wee Book Inn in Edmonton who told me if I liked New Orleans, I should read this book. When I did go, I had to get a photograph of a Lucky Dog vendor. Read the book.

6. Janson History of Art- 5th edition- One of the only subjects I've ever enjoyed studying. I've lugged this 20 lb bible around for nearly 15 years.

7. Tachen- Art Nouveau- I love Art Nouveau. I've stomped all over Brussels, Paris and Prague in search of it. My boyfriend bought me this one Christmas.

8. The Bodacious Book of Succulence- Sark- It was a gift from my sister. I look at it every now and then. It's uplifting and Sark is a genius.

9. Weegee's World- Miles Barch- Year ago, I spent a bunch of lonely nights looking up master photographers and found the work of Weegee. I was in NYC and looking through all the gallery listings and there was a rogue gallery tucked away in a tiny basement showing original photos. Weegee is great- He was a crime scene photographer in NY in the 30's. He got his name for being the 1st one on the scene, but really he had a police radio in his car. His photos are of the off to the side scene often overlooked by usual eye, but overshadowing the crime scene he snapped. Brilliant brilliant stuff. He was a voyeur and preceded Diane Arbus. I shat my pants when I saw this book for sale in a record shop in Toronto.

10. The Poetry of Cats- various- Inscribe by my mom on 04 Sept 1990

NaBloPoMo #16

There's a flood warning for the lower mainland. I rode my bike through a puddle that turned out to be a small pond, 2 feet deep and over my pedals. It rained all day Friday, all day Saturday and Sunday. I don't think it's stopped raining today. Yup, it's still raining.

But I vow to not be a fair weather rider this week. It's a 30 minute soaking wet trek to work each way. But it's always better than standing at a bus stop and then standing on a sweaty, stinky bus full of H1N1.

Today when I got home I discovered the following thought rolling over me...

I may procrastinate about getting up the hills, I never regret doing it, but I always regret not riding.

Onwards and upwards has such an ironic ring to it.

If I ride each way this week, I will ride 100k by the end of the week.

The reward? I'll ride my bike to Granville Island on the weekend and put my bike on the water taxi to Bowen Island and spend the night in a B&B. Ideally one with a big bathtub.

NaBloPoMo #15

Tea for you and tea for me..Today I'm make bread, you'll see...

Honey Tea Bread.

A copy and paste from the website...

* 225g (8oz) raisins
* 75g (3oz) set honey
* 300ml (½pt) freshly made strong tea
* 2 eggs, size 3, lightly beaten
* 275g (10oz) whole-wheat flour
* 2.5ml (½tsp)ground mixed spice
* 15ml (1tbsp) baking powder

Place the raisins in a bowl. Stir the honey into the tea and pour this over raisins. Leave to soak for 2 hours. Stir the eggs into the raisin mixture.

Pre-heat oven to 180oC, 350oF, Gas Mark 4. Mix the flour with the spice and baking powder then mix these dry ingredients into the raisin mixture. Transfer to a greased 900g (2lb) loaf tin and bake for about 1 hour 10 minutes.
Cook on a wire rack and serve sliced and buttered.

Makes one 900g (2lb) loaf.

NaBloPoMo #14

roads less travelled, originally uploaded by jilly71.

NaBloPoMo #13

Bacon from the butcher- 7 or 8 slices
trim the white bit
chop up and fry in large soup pot with a bit of olive oil
chopped onion and garlic
s&p to taste
while frying, chop 2-3 carrots and add to soup pot
set heat on low and cover slightly
peel or scrub 4-5 small potatoes, 2-3 yams/ sweet potatoes
add a yellow beet for fun
1 red pepper chopped fine for color
add everything to pot and cover with water
add a teaspoon of 'better than bouillon'
bring to a boil
add 1/2 cup of cream
simmer
add dash of dried tarragon
enjoy

cool left overs overnight and skim off cooled oils
roast corn niblets in a dash of nutmeg and butter and add.


Creamed potato and bacon becomes bacon corn chowder.

NaBloPoMo #12

One of my favorite restaurants burned down this morning.

A fire is said to have started in the Sushi restaurant next door.

Slickety Jim's was not your everyday diner. It was special. It was decorated with bric-brac that looked like it was looted from the antique store, yard sale and your grandmother's attic. But the menu had the real decoration.

I liked to go there just so I could say, Society Made me What I am- and that meant I'd have the scrambled eggs, vegan sausage and cheese wrapped in a tortilla with salad on the side.

RIP Slick. I'll miss you.

NaBloPoMo #11

What I remember..

• We had shag carpet or some kind of texture-y carpet. I think it was beige..or off white.
  

• The cat was fat and a regular tabby kind of cat. Her name was Duchess. I have no memories of enjoying this cat, which I find odd.
  

• My parents were big fans of teak furniture, but you know it was the 70's. (on a side note: there a shop in my neighbourhood that sells vintage furniture and has a whole room dedicated to the Danish 70's groove. Once they had the couch from my childhood. I was mesmerized by it's incarnation in my life 30 yrs later and told them so. Every now and then I go in and remember the family living room.)

• I had a washed out acrylic/polyester nightgown with a faded floral pattern, elastic at the collar and sleeves that I suffered insufferable bouts of static cling in.
  

• I used to watch Sesame Street with my chin propped on my elbows- entranced. Somewhere nearby would likely be a bowl of corn flakes and milk or porridge.

• The kitchen had orange lino and the kitchen chairs were covered in vinyl that stuck to my legs on hot days. My mother would make me peanut butter and banana sandwiches and serve them on paper towel.
  

• My best friend lived next door. Her name was Tanya Barter and her parents were from Australia. Her father used to shovel the snow in his shorts. I remember sitting in their kitchen when Elvis died and not knowing who Elvis was. "Who shot JR" had a bigger impact in my life.
  

• Her younger brother was Trent and he once peed all over the front yard and sprayed the windows. It's my 1st known memory of seeing a penis.

• Once I bought "perfume" with my allowance from a kid who lived across the street. It was really rose petals and water in a jar. I think my mom found it in my closet and made me take it back.

• My father made fun of the decor of a house across the street. You could see in their house because they had a large front window. I think it was the wallpaper that pissed him off.
  

• The address was 77 Greystone Crescent and the phone number was 464-3182. I have no idea why I have retained that fact except I remembered it when I was a child when you needed to know how to dial 911 or tell someone you were in trouble and where you lived and how to get a hold of your parents.

• My bedroom had cold white/grey lino and I often ran from the light switch to the bed because there was something very very bad under the bed.
  

NaBloPoMo #10

It's the 40th anniversary of Sesame Street today.

Can you imagine that? Wow.

Everybody sing along...

Sunny Day
Sweepin' the clouds away
On my way to where the air is sweet

Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Sesame Street

Come and play
Everything's A-OK
Friendly neighbors there
That's where we meet

Can you tell me how to get
How to get to Sesame Street

It's a magic carpet ride
Every door will open wide
To Happy people like you--
Happy people like
What a beautiful

Sunny Day
Sweepin' the clouds away
On my way to where the air is sweet

Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Sesame street...
How to get to Sesame Street
How to get to...




This blog post has been brought to you by the letter J and and the number 1

NaBloPoMo #9

Whenever, I've been in Havana, the Prado on Saturdays is an absolute must. It's a "10-block-long, marble-balustraded, terrazzo-floored, shaded promenade with built in sit-walls that cascade down the central boulevard of Old Havana"* (I couldn't say it any better).

It has traffic on either side and a long boulevard for pedestrians. On Saturdays, local artists display their crafts or artwork. One of my last days in Havana, I met a young photographer named Brayan who really accomplished some amazing feats of photography- had a show in Havana that collaborated with a US photographer, was able to get large scale prints etc..

He continues to amaze me with his images and that he is able to get them online and email them to me. Today I got a link of a variety of images.. please go look. They're stunning, original and evoke the true beauty and grit of a city like Havana.

Here's the link to Brayan's images...

*quote from here (Check out the list of top 60 public spaces as well)

NaBloPoMo #8

10 places in Vancouver I really enjoy

1. Granville Island
2. Under my feather duvet
3. The SPCA
4. Water taxis in False Creek
5. Joe's Cafe on Commercial Drive
6. The Roundel on Hastings
7. Commercial Drive
8. Gastown
9. Trout Lake Park
10. West 4th in Kits

NaBloPoMo #7

For my special London friend...

Chipotle Mayo and Chips

Get some chipotle peppers. You can usually find these in most markets with a "latin food" section. Lucky for me, the peppers are in most markets in my neighborhood. They're most likely canned with adobe sauce which is generally tomatoes, spices and ancho peppers. They look like this..

Scoop some mayo into a bowl

Chop those Chipotle peppers up finely and blend with Mayo. Add some of that adobe sauce for good measure. Blend well or whiz with a hand blender until smooth.

Chippies...

Slice peeled potatoes really thinly on a mandoline. Fry in a bit of oil and drain on paper towels. Toss with a bit of salt to taste.

For a plateful of chips, you need 1 large baking potato, scrubbed clean. A bit of salt and pepper to taste and some oil. Using the wavy (crinkle) side of a mandoline, slice the potato once, then turn the potato 90 degrees horizontally and cut again. This criss-cross way of cutting results in hatched or meshed slices- so fun and fancy but go straight and easy too. Place the slices in a wee bit of oil and fry till brown or toss them in a bit of oil and bake till crispy. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.

Turn on the telly, cozy up under a blanket with something to drink.. chipotle peppers are smoky and spicy and dip your chippies.

sonicyouth

sonicyouth, originally uploaded by jilly71.

NaBloPoMo #6

Current state:

tattoo sore
laundry taking over
bathroom floor growing a mysterious substance
chips and chipotle mayo for dinner
dishes need doing
nothing in the fridge
raining
couch comfort overriding the bed
feeling sicky sicky

NaBloPoMo #5

birds of fancy, originally uploaded by jilly71.

Here's my fancy dancy little bird all colored in.

NaBloPoMo #4

There's a little bird that I've become kind of fond of. So fond, that I'll be looking at the lilac throated roller for a very long time.

Tomorrow, my little tattooed birds will be colored. I've never been one for colored tattoos but this little bird has won me over to the other side. My birds just wouldn't be the same without their little lilac breasts and tufts of turquoise and honey brown and brilliant prairie sky blues.



I'll post pictures later this week.

NaBloPoMo #3

10 non people things I don't like. Again, I'll try not to deviate to food.

1. snow
2. mushrooms
3. broken fingernails
4. mold in any form any where
5. angry dogs
6. the color orange
7. garbage strikes
8. red roses
9. Guinness
10. pens that don't work

NaBloPoMo #2

10 non people things I like. I'll try not to focus on food:

1. kittens
2. fresh baked bread
3. photography
4. gravy on mashed potatoes
5. fresh laundry
6. the smell of geraniums
7. sunny mornings
8. songs that sound like trains
9. feather duvets
10. ordering in

NaBloPoMo means I'm crazy

Otherwise stands for National Blog Posting Month. I think this will be my 3rd year in a row of this nonsense.

9 down. 91 to go.

It's been a year and a bit and I kind of forgot about my list of 100 things to do before I die. Reading over it again, it seems a bit wacky. There are some things that I'm all like wha?? Like for example:

# 3- ride a giraffe. Not likely, Jill.

#27- Bungee Jump- it looks good on a list of 100 things to do before you die but truth be told, I'm more likely to have my fingernails pulled out than jump off a bridge with a giant elastic band tied to my ankles.

How bout #52- dig up a time capsule- unless someone tells me where one's hidden or I plant my own, this kind of seems a bit unobtainable. Do you know where there's a time capsule I could dig up?

#79- Stop getting tattooed? Why would I put that on the list? It seems so unlikely to say no never again.

And #91- "This Bud's for You"? I think I may have managed to complete #58 without knowing it- make my own cheese.

But some things have, surprisingly, been completed.

#6- have a public exhibit of my photos. Not exactly what I had in mind when I wrote that, but I did rig up a laundry line and hang my photos on day on the street. I sold $30 worth of cards I'd made.

#16- Pay Someones rent for the month- I have paid my boyfriend's rent at least once. He's paid mine too. Works out well.

#17- Give someone a job- I hired a lovely girl named Jill. Seriously.

#24- Spend the night in the Chelsea Hotel- Spent 2 nights. Dreams don't come cheap at $300 US/night but it was glorious and magnificent and I don't regret one second of it. It was magical. I had a balcony apartment. I pretended I "lived" there for 48 hrs.

#30- Swim with Sharks- I'll change this to dolphins- so much gentler and less scary and check- done. (why do I want to scare myself needlessly to make my list more interesting??)

#45- Inspire someone- rumor has it this has happened.

#54- Visit Cuba before its too late- meaning before they announce Fidel is dead and open the floodgates of US travelers. It's never too late to visit Cuba. I've been there twice now for a total of 4 weeks. Amazing.

#57- See a ghost- well not exactly but I have seen something fly off a shelf unprovoked.

#80- Find the perfect pair of jeans- Levi 501, W33 L32, European cut- found the pair- and they're perfect. Will I find them again? Maybe not.

So.. one of these weekends I'll attempt #37 and not say a word and I better get crackin on #74- make all my Christmas Gifts.

a key to unlock the door

I especially like the new Tiffany Keys.

I'm saving all my quarters for a sparkly platinum one, but in the meantime my darling boyfriend whom I don't nearly appreciate enough sometimes bought me one just because it was a Saturday in October.

Now you know what's on my Christmas wishlist. Let's go in on one together.

mennonite dishes and wimpy burgers

Mennonite dishes, originally uploaded by jilly71.

speechless

"This was allegedly voted unanimously by staff at Maroochydore High School in Queensland for use on their telephone answering system. Very possibly fake, but very funny, Also has a serious point that perhaps parents and students should be more accountable and take more responsibility themselves instead of blaming the school for their failings."

they stayed at the drive in till everyone else had gone

they never left the drive in, originally uploaded by jilly71.

I probably didn't mention this tomfoolery either

Jiggerypokery as in like, Halloween isn't for 31 days, ya know. BUT- if you really want to know, I went to a costume ball in September and the theme was fairy tales. You know me, I'm the goose that laid the golden egg. By the way, those are giant bath bombs that reeked of lavender. I barely made it out of the event alive with my "Golden Eggs". Those of you who know me will know why.

maybe I didn;t mention it?

I had someone draw 2 very beautiful pictures on my forearms. Lucky for me and you we can look at them always and forever onwards.
I

a little story

So I stayed late to finish and finally decided to ride home- at about 11 pm. I know. It was a bad night to begin with. But I get home, have to pee madly and rummage around in my bike bags looking for the elusive keys to my apt. I give up when the pressure on my bladder is to much to bear and tear under the porch steps and drop'em.

The return to the search for the magical instrument that will allow me refuge in a warm apt remains unfulfilled. It begins to dawn on me that I don't have my keys. Oh well, at least the landlord is home. The lights upstairs are on and I sheepishly knock on the door. More than once. I knock again a little louder. No luck. The only thing now keeping me warm are the tears rolling down my face.

At this point, slight desperation sets in and I try every key I have in the faint hope one of them will work. Panic develops when I realize I may be outside for the night. I ponder my options and realize I have no idea where the closest hotel may be. Is it that run down hole on Kingsway? Do I go back to work? Knock on the neighbors? Go to a friend's? Who?

I walk around to the back door and encounter 3 raccoons fighting for the fat red grapes hanging off the mangled and tangled vine that snakes up the house. Last night's memory of coyotes in the front yard make for a night outside a little less appealing. I try one of the many useless keys and find I can get into the laundry room. Great. I have a tent and worst case, at least I have shelter and now.. tools.

My first attempt to readjust the security bars on my bedroom window proves to be fruitless when I discover I no longer have the hips of a 8 yr old. I try the bathroom window and take out the kitty screen. Yup. I still don't have the hips of a child. This isn't going to work. I'm wondering if anybody has noticed me walking around the house trying windows.

The raccoons are fighting and screeching for territory on the roof. Surely there can't possibly be anyone upstairs with all this racket. I go back to my bike and get my light off and go to the kitchen window. I knew you'd thrown my other set on the floor when you left. I had visions of finding them, finding a stick and somehow being able to cleverly catch them and reel the in like some kind of golden fish that would solve all my problems. I don't see them. Instead I see my apartment, the one that I'm not allowed in.

I get a bit desperate and figure if I can cut the lock that is securing my security grate over the open window, perhaps my 38 yr old hips will fit. What about my fat head though. I get some wire cutters to cut a lock. I'm grasping at chewed on straws, but sweet Jesus it works and the lock snaps. I swing the bar open and get a bench to stand on. With one foot in and then the other, I'm going in backwards and fully expect to knock every dish on the floor or get stuck and that I'm found in the early dawn by the coppers.

I'm able to slither through and land jubilantly in my apt to find that you put the keys down on the counter under the window- all within reaching distance the whole time. It was some kind of weird feeling that the entire time I panicked and cried and hand pangs of desperation, my little golden fish flopped into my boat and cocked it's stupid eye at me and said.. I told you so.

1000th post

I've been busy. I've been pondering and procrastinating on what exactly the 1000th post on More Kisses Please should say. I want it to be fabulous and witty, but did I mention I've been busy.

All I ever wanted to say is the world and me needs more kisses. It's really hard being alive and having feelings and reading about all the horrible things happening down the street and across the world. It's hard being a girl. I suppose its hard to be a boy too. We're all a bit backwards in our pursuits of luxury and possessions.

So, my friends.. tell people you love them. Hug them and tell them they're pretty and lovely. We all need to hear it and for heaven's sake, give more kisses please.

Love Jill.

when its safe to come out, I'll be back

IMGP4277, originally uploaded by jayewell.

Dirt River

Dirt River, originally uploaded by jayewell.

Personally, in a very heartfelt way- I sincerely believe this is the best photograph I have ever taken. Its a painting.

gmc, originally uploaded by jayewell.

I went all the way to Manitoba and all I got was 23 photos

I few weeks back, I went to Manitoba in search of my past. I didn't find it, but I did find 23 wonderful photos.

You can see the set here.

on a clear day I can see for miles

on a clear day I can see for miles, originally uploaded by jayewell.

Bob

IMGP4642, originally uploaded by jayewell.

This is Bob.

I met Bob, I think the first time way back when I was 19 or so. He was the drummer in a band I liked to go see play at the Commercial Hotel in Edmonton. Back then, I kind of lived in that hotel. I spent my time dancing the nights away plenty of nights back then. My entire view of the band was eclipsed by the bass player though, so I don't muchly remember Bob, except back then he had his own car, and was well, the drummer in the band.

Fast forward 8 yrs and Bob turned up again, being a drummer in a band. This time it was a kind of country band that played a weird basement bar with velvet wallpaper. I remember someone trying to teach me to line dance while I laughed my head off to Bob's beats. I liked Bob, so I lingered a lot and hung around. I wish I could say more* about Bob, but I don't really know more than he's one of those characters that meanders on and comes round and we have a friendship that is nearly effortless. I like Bob and he likes me - I think. Ha!

Bob vanished again for many, many moons. I think he was adrift at sea or something. Then, one day the great equalizer known as Facebook reunited Bob and I again. He found himself in geographical proximity to me and I wandered over to Nanaimo to see him for the day. We should have gone canoeing but we didn't. Instead we went on a 5k hike and I pulled a muscle in my bum. Somewhere along the line, I've pulled a muscle in my bum because of Bob more than once- I'm sure.

Bob came to town. He showed up with his salmon colored canoe and parked it in my backyard. It was good timing because I had tickets to some concerts at Stanley Park's Malkin Bowl. Good concerts too (Elvis Costello and The Pretenders with Cat Power and Juliette Lewis and the Licks opening) and was grateful for the company. That's where I took these 2 photos.

Bob can come and stay at mine anytime he wants to. He was the perfect house guest. He didn't pee in the corners, he made food, he didn't drool on my pillows and most of all he kept me laughing when I kind of needed to be laughing. He makes a mean cornbread too. And, when he left there were flowers and a note. He's like the lover that never was.

*(Oh..but I can say more about Bob. He's generous and funny. Very kind and thoughtful. A talented trumpet player and drummer and of course, an effortless friend of almost 20 yrs and he doesn't snore at night.)

I love you, Bob.

rapeseed

IMGP4243, originally uploaded by jayewell.

I know I have been away. I took a little trip and then I had to recover and then I had to go to 2 rocking concerts.

This is canola. I like to call it rapeseed. Some people think that's wrong. Get over it people. Calling it rapeseed is not offensive.

Speaking of politically correct crap.. apparently 'brainstorm' is no longer acceptable. It should be a 'brain shower''. Oh brother.

I'm back. More to follow...sometime.

new tattoo

TatooAug2009(1), originally uploaded by jayewell.

forever etched

IMGP4353, originally uploaded by jayewell.

Uncle Handsome

IMGP4336, originally uploaded by jayewell.

Can you all just take a moment before slathering yourself with crap "beauty" products.

The original:



The Truth:

Alberta is one of my favorite words.

IMGP4253, originally uploaded by jayewell.

just sayin..

Aries Horoscope for week of July 30, 2009


Are you a gelatinous pool of longing yet? Are you a perfumed garden of madly blooming purple explosions? Are you throbbing and gooey and half-nauseous with that delicious sickness some people called love? If not, I don't know what to tell you. By all astrological reckoning your gut should be swarming with drunk butterflies and the clouds should be taking on the shapes of mating horses. If you're not half-drowning in these symptoms, I implore you to find a way to pry open the floodgates.

The Malecon, originally uploaded by jayewell.

Denise and Joyce, originally uploaded by jayewell.

liquidating

I've been on a bit of a health thing since I came back from Cuba in May. Maybe it was the rum? maybe it was hauling around the extra poundage in the tropical heat. It's possible that the swim in the dolphin pool and the resulting heftiness forever memoralized in video pushed me over the edge?

I killed all flours, sugar and dairy from my diet on May 15. Now, that's not to say I haven't cheated. I've sneaked bits and pieces of all the foods i swore off. There was that trip to Mennonite country and the land of perogies and cream sauce that was, come on do you blame me- unavoidable.

But, I've kicked it up a notch and I've started a 3 day (nice and moderate) juice cleanse. There is a sink full of organic carrots, broccoli, beets, radish, celery, parsley, kale and cabbage waiting to be drunk.

I have a big old glass of fresh juice for breakfast, tomato cocktail for lunch, fresh veggie juice for dinner and a glass of prune juice for dessert. Yum.

Last Chance Lantern Saloon

Wonder why I haven't said much over here lately? It's because a bomb of tissue paper, glue, and baloons went off in my apt. I haven't done much of anything except make lanterns, eat, sleep and procrastinate about making lanterns.

At the end of the last 10 days, I made 70 lanterns. I stung them up outside tonight for the 21 annual Illumanaires lantern festival in Trout Lake. I strung them all and then the weirdest thing happened.

It rained. Not only did it rain, there was lightning and thunder as well. Which is a rare phenomenon here. It rains alot but with no show. Tonight, even the sun shone under the rain. The sky was a pinking orange, like it was the planet mars. the rain came down like tiny boulders of wetness. Heavy and damp.

Out came the tarps to cover the lanterns made out of dried glue and paper. Brave souls took pity in me and walked away with my labored over pods of light. It was a steal at 5 buck with a stick, a soggy pack of matches and a wet tea light.

I made 70, and sold 33 and got a $1 tip. Best part was people taking them to their cars to take home!

emblems of the prairies

emblems of the prairies, originally uploaded by jayewell.

touch me

touch me, originally uploaded by jayewell.

gasoline and grass

Once there was a girl who was kind of an introvert in an extroverted way. She liked to watch people more than she liked to talk to them. When she was 5, her best friend died and no one really explained it to her because she was only just only a young thing who they were sure would not understand. After that and to this day, the smell of gasoline and grass makes her feel as though something is missing in her life.

The little girl grew up. All along the way, it was as though there was no one else who would ever feel like she did or do the things that she was doing. She stared and stared and said nothing. She blindly continued on in her search for the source of the gasoline and grass, mostly unknowingly. Along the way, she stumbled and fell more than once into the arms that could not hold her.

If only the man with the weathered hands and plaid farmers shirts would come back and say goodbye before he left. "Be a good girl and keep your chin up. You’re a pretty girl" he would say- that and "you’re my girl". He would explain to her why others wouldn’t sometimes care and he would say it in a way that even her tiny heart would understand. If only he hadn’t died; things would have been different.

The little girl would not have been left alone to stare at the others and wonder where the smell of gasoline and grass comes from.

2 weeks and then 2 weeks

In 2 weeks I'll be headed home to spend some time in the beautiful Alberta prairies. I'm really looking forward to a long weekend with my mum and getting to see some family. Do a little driving, take a few pictures, get some good prairie air in my lungs. There's something weirdly calming about puffy white clouds, blue skies and weather storms that can take your roof off. Big thundering cracks of lightning is the kind of thing you don't get in Vancouver. There's something horribly wrong with rain with no thunder.

2 weeks after that, I'll be headed back to the plains of Manitoba. Somewhere I've caught a fondness for, There's mysteries and past wants creeping through the coulees of southern Manitoba. There's also some really fond friends that I lost touch with until recently. I am immensely grateful for finding them again for they are the kind of folks who I immediately feel at ease with. People I know in my heart we are friends and the kind of people you just pick up where you left off. My heart nearly exploded from my refound joy and delight in my lost friendships.

The prairies hold a special place in my heart. They are magical and mysterius plains of Western Canada. They are as exotic as foreign beaches and extravagent museums. As unique as the worn cobblestone of any european city and as rich with heritage and fable as the dark corners of the parisian acfes of philosphers past. I am a prairie girl at heart. I am old barn wood and abandoned houses filled with grain. I am the smell of trackers, oil and gasoline. I am the smell of fresh baked bread on a sunny window ledge. I am old and weathered skin and plaid farmer shirts. I am a storm cloud looking for my lightning bolt.

14 days and counting
28 days and waiting
till I get back.

Jill

32 days

What could one do in 32 days. What will I do in 32 days?
1. make cd's
2. ride 300 km
3. sew a patch on my jeans
4. look for jeans fr a friend
5. loose 15 pounds
6. drink 32 litres of water
7. eat 20 salads, at least
8. drink 32 cups of tea
9. make 100 lanterns and sell them for $500
10. have a street photo show
11. go to Alberta
12. answer 3200 emails
13. eat in a restaurant at least twice
14. will not eat any sugar, flour or dairy
15. go to at least 2 Car free Days
16. get tattooed
17. do the dishes at least 20 times
18. sell my cds
19. buy more music.
20. sleep on the couch maybe half a dozen time.
21. take 2.5 baths.
22. Take out the recycling 3 times.
23. print a photograph
24. will try and make changes
25. clear my head

Farmer

Farmer, originally uploaded by jayewell.

I spill the truth. It's not easier. I want the old and something new. I want plans and changes. I don't want to feel bad about being whatever I am right now. I'm a fool. Maybe.

waterfall

my emotions run thick and dry
through coulee on a hot summer day
the river of my feelings tear through it
carving patterns, an unpaved highway
rips the green carpet countryside
slow shards of grass cut the birds that land
my affections and agitations collide
the past and the future intersect
crash head first into one another
scorched by the sun and shipwrecked
my heart floats the blue clear water crawl
bursting through past lovers and pain
to the change of the waterfall




I spilled alot of stuff tonight. All my pains, all my wants, all my desires, all the conflicts of my heart. All the past that shapes me and confuses me now. All of it. It all collided with the future. One door is shut and I broke open the door to my gilded cage. I'm standing at the doorway of something changing but I don't know what.

get put the glue, we're gonna have a party

It's only 2 weeks until the annual Lantern Fest in Trout Lake. The lantern production is coming out again this year. Somewhere I have a bucket of glue and a bunch of tissue paper in storage. If I can make a labourious 100 lanterns, I can sell them for $5 easy. What else do i have going on for the next 14 days but to turn the kitchen into a lantern assembly line.

Jack & Jill

Jack & Jill, originally uploaded by gfpeck.

Buy the ticket, take the ride.- Hunter S. Thompson.

prairie post boxes

IMGP4041, originally uploaded by jayewell.

except for the "I don't like you" part, this is spot on for me right now

one of these days

I'll update the sorry state of this blog. Is it just me, or are you bored too?

I've been really busy, doing nothing really.

I went to Manitoba and saw 3 people I hadn't seen in 15-20 years. This was, um.. kind of startling to discover I'm basically in love with all of them. It's a funny thing seeing someone again you used to have a lot of fun with. I just opened the door to my heart for them to come back and it all translates into this warm squishy feeling of "Holy shit, I MISSED you and I didn't even know HOW MUCH and don't you DARE skip out of town again" And you know, life's short. So, just tell people you love them. I just have a wee bit of difficulty not inviting myself to hug them all night. Is that a bad thing?

I took some amazing shots that I'm just chucked to have in my collection. There are seriously, some old abandoned trucks out there. I saw a cluster of old fords in a field that I couldn't quite get to unless I got out and walked. If I wasn't on my way to the airport, I would've schlepped out there. I'm going back to get that shot.

I went thrifting and found the most ridiculously beautiful handbag for 45 cents and then noticed it's mate for 40 cents. The Mennonites really get down to thrifting. They also have change rooms made for 2. It gave me curious ideas. I did come away with the obligatory knit Mennonite slippers. I couldn't find any matching pot holders.

The best part was the Saskatoon berry perogies with white sauce in the middle of a no flour, dairy, or sugar cleanse. Way to stick it to me. It wasn't actually the best best part. That was any number of things..

-sitting at Denise's kitchen table after 20 yrs
-her party to introduce me to her friends
-knocking on the door of an handsome ex- fella and the gift of a really beautiful farm jacket- it inspired a poem
-seeing an old friend and finding them sad and staying the night to curl up
-dropping in on another old friend and their new bar and remembering how much the light in their eye's danced
-bar hopping with a friend in Winnipeg and sneaking them into my hotel room to stay up too late drinking beer and eating pizza.

I'm wondering now, how many years left do I have to pretend that I'm still 20?? Boy did I have fun.

once upon a time..

once upon a time.., originally uploaded by jayewell.

I believed in the past.

poem for you

You walked into a bar one night, on the south-side of the city
and said to your brother, 'look at that girl, isn't she so pretty'.
My doubts about that night are so, but you assured me it was true
It began the summer that shimmered gold before it turned dark blue.

You said we spent that summer talking, that we were surely dating
But I remember scowls and silence and silly awkward moments of mating.
A lifetime and one day later, I went knocking on your door
to find that you had all grown up, you'd had children and even more.

You aren't the same man that left that town so many years ago
instead you seemed the same but changed but how would I to know.
To make amends and bridge the past, you offered up your jacket
I wear it now with you inside, just like a little packet.

I wonder now, as I wondered then if our paths would cross again
with many letters of many words we put our thoughts down, without a pen.
To think of ways to travel near for picnics in the wheat
where we can remember what we forgot when the heart begins to beat.

So, while some will say 'don't look back', sometimes it's not the plan
but to turn around once more again to finish what has began.
I bet once more our journeys will bring us not far but near
Where we can laugh again and rekindle friendships, all within the year.

photos of my trip to the grassy green plains of Manitoba

green wheels, originally uploaded by jayewell.

you can see the whole lot here. I think I better plan to go back.

currency

Today I stood in the middle of my ill-spent youth.
By the hockey benches
and green grass rinks
where I smoked illicit cigarettes
after school
and played truth or dare with boys.

I walked down the alley's of my adolescence
and stole the sweet and tender young raspberries
from the bushes that defiantly taken root
on the wrong side of the fence.

Riding by a park,
I remembered the day when my friend told me
she lost her virginity in a hotel room
to a man she met in a bar.
We swung high on the swing sets,
our converse sneakers and feet dangling.
Kicking at the dust of our childhood
while we spent the shiny coins of our youth.

bust loose

abandonment, originally uploaded by jayewell.

I'm going to Winnipeg tomorrow to see some old friends I haven't seen in nearly 20 years.

street washing

street washing, originally uploaded by jayewell.

This is a favorite shot from Santiago De Cuba.

in my quest

For a better digestive tract.. I have recently eliminated all forms of sugar, flours and dairy products. This hasn't always been easy and has been somewhat boring. I pick up that soy alternative to cream cheese and notice lurking in the ingredients is the dreaded "cane sugar". As if the word cane in front makes it any less of a sugar. Hurrumph.

But behold.. the Manna Bread.. it's like a gift from heaven. Literally. I bought the bread today and enjoyed my 1st slice of sheer breadlike goodness..

My little loaf only has these ingredients:

Sprouted organic wheat kernels, filtered water, organic raisins, organic dates, organic almonds, organic cashews, organic hazelnuts, organic cinnamon, organic nutmeg, organic oatmeal.

That's it. No sugar (ok dates and raisins- but do they really count?), no salt, no flour, no yeast, no preservatives, no dairy, no crap, no nothing but allowed goodies.

If I could find a reasonable facsimile of applewood smoked cheddar, I would gently weep over my plain un-brown-sugared, no condensed milk breakfast knowing there was a better day ahead.

gig poster

Hoy Pena del Son, originally uploaded by jill y.

I saw this on a wall in Santiago de Cuba. I tried to steal it. At first I asked if I could take it and someone said- after 9 o'clock, So I went back after 9 and tried to take it and was stopped. I guess someone saw an opportunity because they made me pay for it. I think it cost me $10. Tricky part was getting it back to Canada.

I managed to get it back to Havana and to my casa. I managed to get it to the Havana airport when I was headed home and through security I went and left it on the other side of immigration. It's not fun being fed up, tired and hungry trying to negotiate with border guards in a communist country that you left behind a piece of cardboard.

I believe I pleaded, then got angry and then cried out of shear frustration with it all. They simply would not let me return to the other side of the line of customs AND I had spent all my money except for the taxi fare an didn't have 2 pesos to rub together for a mohito.

But.. luck rained down on me somehow as somewhere in the middle of all the people I talked to, I was able to get the darn thing back and now it hangs in my apt. A hand painted gig poster on cardboard- all the way from Santiago de Cuba. Best-souvenir-ever

Pintor

the artist, originally uploaded by jill y.

salad creation

Maybe I should share all the wacky recipes I have created in my quest for wheat/ dairy/ sugar free diet? I warn you ahead of time.. it's a lot of salad. In various forms..

Todays creation:

1 head of iceberg lettuce- chopped
1/4 cup sundried tomatoes
1/2 small red onion, finely chopped
1 can of tuna, drained
1 red pepper, finely chopped

Mix throughly.

In a small glass:

Juice of 1/2 lemon
2-3 tbsp olive oil
tsp dried basil
salt & pepper

Toss salad with dressing and add 1/2 avocado, cubed to top of salad.

thoughts in green

thoughts in green, originally uploaded by jill y.

Her Morning Elegance

lately..there's been an upheaval

27 days ago I changed my life in a small and tiny but significant way. I started a 100 day challenge to eliminate all grain flours, yeast, sugar and dairy from my diet. On May 15 was the last day I ate any of these items. I have also not had anything fermented- no vinegar or soy sauce. No black tea. No artificial sweeteners, no Cuban honey. No milk in my coffee. No pasta. No tropical fruit. No toast with my eggs. No cheese or yogurt. No ice cream in the heat. No- I have not had wheat, dairy or sugar in 27 days. Every day is 1% closer to the goal of 100 days.

I have had:

Glorious green salads with lemon juice and olive oil dressing
beautiful broiled wild salmon with butter, garlic and thyme
rice cakes with almond butter and apple
mixed grain oatmeal with fresh berries
hot strong and black Cuban coffee
hard boiled organic eggs with salt and pepper
steamed broccoli with butter and garlic
black beans with stir fried peppers, onions and bacon
better fitting clothes and more energy

Edit: Thanks for the feedback, Mom & Catherine. It's not as hard as I thought it would be. Today I found chocolate almond milk with no sugar. Crackers and pita bread has been tough though. (and cheddar..)