I ate some cheese today

I just woke up from a dream..

I was on an episode of a talk show. I was wearing a blond, dusted bouphant wig and a straw hat with a ribbon, pedal pushers and a cardigan sweater set. I had a small yellow typewritter on my lap that I was recording the "activity" for my blog at home. I don't remember what I wrote.

Also sitting there was Mightygirl. I don't remember what she was wearing, but at one point I handed her a sequined cloth bathing cap and matching vest. She told me a story of how she and her sister were wearing matching bathing caps in Amsterdam and the staff told them that because of them they would always wear rubber boots (apparently an avantegard item of fashion not normally seen.. like a cloth sequined bathing cap)

We were accompanied by two friends, one of which was a friend of my fella- Todd- who has the retro thing going on already. I don't remember the 4th guy.

We were seated to the far left of the stage on Retro chairs. The host was Stephen Colbert, I think..but I can't remember. Apparently we didn't have anything to say as a group at all and we were waiting for a vote results to come in??? At one point the host said.. 'The audience has to go home, we need the internet to go home.'

There was an intermission and the lights went up and I looked down at the audience ( we were on a high school like stage/ auditorium except the drop to the audience was much bigger). The audience was all decked out in 50's ball gowns, sequins, tiaras, skinny suits, gloves, etc.. and I thought to myself.. wow..this is where you can come if you want to be in the past.

Mightygirl took a photo of us and that's when I first realized, I was also dressed in clothes from the past.

The intermission had a musical act which was like Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love" video.. all women who were dressed similar- except in my dream.. all slightly different and they all wore white face makeup, heavy black eyeliner and red lips. Some had gold tassel, some wore suits with gold ties..

I got up and saw a pair of silver strap shoes lying on a mantel.

I sat down and was wedged in beside a wall and a very large man who I joked with to move so "I could be seen".

A man in an orange suit sat down next to me instead. I don't know where Todd and Mightgirl went to.

What does it mean??

Happy Birthday Catherine

Things to do today..

1. wake Up
2. deny your age and immediately assume preferred age
3. make cinnamon toast, pour a big glass of milk
4. rub sleep from eyes
5. Load up golden ipod from loving sister
6. dance
7. get dressed

did you know...

Did you know that a lack of dairy in your diet can lead to a shortage of ice cream, Greek style yogurt, cheese on bread and milkshakes? 

Have I mentioned that I've stopped consuming all dairy products? I miss cheese on toast. I miss thick yummy Greek style yogurt with Cuban honey even more. It makes me sad to walk past the dairy aisle in the supermarket.

Today, I took the day off and went to the doctor about my persistent insomnia, feeling run down since Christmas and excessive anxiety to which he gave me a low dose of some anti- anxiety medication and an antibiotic for a severe chest infection that he could determine I had by listening to my lungs (wtf?)

Then I told him of my dietary choices..

Did you know a lack of calcium in your diet can lead to the following symptoms:

Insomnia, anxiety, nervousness, depression, fatigue, muscle and joint pains, PMS, painful periods..

I've had them all. Now I have a bottle of berry flavored Calcium Magnesium with Vitamin D and a Mega multi-vitamin. 

I'm going to lay down now with a stalk of broccoli to chew on.

Calcium..it does a body good.

I've won a million dollars

Well.. no not really. But you can imagine if I did? What do you think I would do? What would you do?

I can tell you what I think I would do..

I would run for the hills and keep my trap shut. Nothing brings out the worms out of the grass like bunch of rain.

I'd promptly look for an amazing property to turn into a guest house, a hostel or a B&B. Someplace with a lot of history and with a strong tourist flow. Like Cuba. Ha.. Like Vancouver.. like one of these.. found here on Granville Island or maybe one of these..

- buy out Catherine's student loan debt.
- go back to school leisurely and frivolously study photography and art history.
- sock a lot away very smartly.
- buy this company
- stay at my job for a while longer.
- send my friend Vince and his partner Mitch on a trip to anywhere they wanted to go.
- take my mom and sister on a trip to someplace wonderful. I don't know what I'd do for my dad or other family.
- rent a hybrid camper and drive across Canada and America taking photos.  - get a lot of tattoos.
- help you do something you've always wanted to do.
- volunteer my time more and help others.
- buy all the camera equipment I'd ever want to


And a million other things. What would you do?

mow.

IMGP0109, originally uploaded by jilly71.

Right.. the Olympics.. its not what I expected. It is what I expected. It's kind of crazy.

There are a zillion people in town. Streets are blocked off for pedestrian traffic. There are more Canadian flags flapping off plastic poles clamped to car windows, hanging off balconies, draped over shoulders like capes, or waving in the air on 'official Olympic' mittens than I have ever seen in Ottawa on Canada Day. (I've never been to Ottawa on Canada Day, but we're usually a fairly reticent nation, so I'm taking a wild assumption that only a handful of flags flap enthusiastically only on Capitol Hill).

I guess I missed the memo to face paint myself as a maple leaf before I go outside. 

The other night I went downtown to see a concert with a friend of mine. We walked to the Olympic Cauldron and found half the population of the world there as well. Volunteers sat in lifegaurd chairs with megaphones giving the crowd 'directions' to an unobstructed view of the Olympic flame. I don't think anyone was listening. In alot of ways, it was like being in NYC during Halloween. Everyone was just dressed like a hockey player or a flag.

We walked through the streets or rather we surfed on the wave of pedestrian traffic until we got to the theatre. My friend went to go get tickets and I stood there and watched the river of humanity stream past me. Salmon swimming upstream unobstructed. Lemmings in mass migration to the next food source. The metaphors could go on.. ants to a open jar of honey?? But I digress.. the unending torrent of human beings and a severe lack of identification with such a mass of people did my head in and I panicked by a lack of fellowship and sense of myself. I felt like I was being swarmed by thoughts. (ok I smoked 1/2 a joint).

 It was actually really awful and I had to ditch the concert and go home to the surprise of my friend. Tears streaming down my face.. I cabbed home and hid under the covers. The Olympics does not bring me joy or excitement. It brings me dread and feeling overwhelmed. I don't like crowds very much and  I don't like mass humanity. I wonder if it was a good idea to sign up for that flash mob on Saturday. Maybe not.

I know one thing for sure... I'll never smoke pot again.. at least not in a crowd of a zillion people. No.. I don't think I'd do it alone in a park either.

lessons

I recently had 2 unusual situations. Both involved people I did not know and had met both for the 1st time on the same day.

We all have a mutual friend who is one of the most loving, compassionate person I have ever met.

Both were weird and strange incidents where I felt like I collided head first into someone and then skidded off the boards with another. Both unsettling and kind of silently violent. Do you know what I mean? Like the air is charged with something unspoken that gets twisted up too soon and then no one can speak?

I found them both really odd due to meeting them on the same day and considering the nature of the mutual friend.. how things could derail so quickly. I kind of hoped for 2 new really cool and interesting friends..maybe still a possibility.. but wow did these 2 go on strange ride. 


The first, I found out- we both shared an interest in our mutual friend. I assumed they were also aware of the overly casual nature of the person. But I was wrong. Dead wrong. They took their relationship very seriously and when I met them and struck up a casual conversation about our mutual friend.. it caused an enormous amount of fury and rage to erupt. I was a lightning rod for a series of emails that lasted well into the early morning and then I was abruptly blocked and canceled from a shared online existence. What I learned: Sometimes, it's better to find other things in common than shared friends.

The 2nd, took a curious interest in my creative endeavors and invited me to partake in which they would be the subject. I thought it was an intriguing offer, but I admit I was skeptical as to the motivation. But I have had a history of being doubtful and suspicious of the interests of others and put it aside and accepted the offer. I realized.. I don't really enjoy having my subjects chosen for me. I would never be a good wedding photographer.. I'll say that right now. I like to take photos in a random and serendipitous way. So, I went, had dinner, felt odd and vaguely unsettled, thanked my host and left. What I find more unsettling is the product of that has been altogether ignored. So, I wonder if my skepticism was more on track than I gave it credit for. What I learned: to be up front about my abilities. I'm not a great people photographer. I know that.

What else I learned.. check your expectations at the door but keep your boundaries close to heart.

my tattoos.

not my photo..wp, originally uploaded by jilly71.

Well you know it doesn't always go as you think it will. I thought I'd be good and write everyday. Guess not. Oh well fuck it. It's been a good 46 days or so.. I have put a photo a day up on Facebook if you're there.. you can see them. Today I celebrated my rebellion by having a peppermint Aero bar. And then I crashed.

So what's been happening..

The Olympics started. You've probably been hearing about them. They were supposed to run the torch up my neighbourhood but 25000 protesters put a stop to that. It was really calm and peaceful despite news reports days later of hooliganisms.

I don't know about all of this Olympic hoopla.. some people say it's "great exposure for Vancouver" and all the jobs.. look at all the jobs that have been created.. and the developments and the free concerts and oh my..look at all the visitors bringing money to the city.. but it's the fundamentals.. the face that we celebrate someone dedicating the better part of their lives to sport. I mean, great. Don't get me wrong.. it's great to dedicate yourself to skating at rapid speeds in a giant oval..perfecting the art of hurling yourself at 140km/hr down an ice track with hair pin curves.. that's great too.. I guess I'd feel better about the same thing if we, as a society regularly celebrated the epic journeys of doctors who foregoe top end salaries to work in the worlds poorest and most neglected places. Or artists who've dedicated their lives to poetry and painting. You know what I mean? I just don't get excited for mogal skiing. Maybe a zip line down a mountain.. I might get excited for that. Or Olympic slam poetry.

Speaking of the arts.. Alexnader McQueen decided to check out early. I'm not a follower of fashiion.. but I did occasionally check out what he was up to.. the renegade bad boy of the London fashion scene.. famous for making the skull contemporary. His shows were excess and extravagant and never held inside the coloring book lines. And then he would just make some exceptionally beautiful things..like this..

 Or this dress... I love it. I think it's 3000GBP

 

It's a shame.. people says it's always the most brilliant that are the most tortured and I think that's a crass thing to say.. as though you can't be brilliant unless you're tortured. The really brilliant thing is to learn how to harness the lightning rod creative spark and keep it alive. McQueen was incredibly creative.. but he blew his spark out. Boo. 

That's enough for today.. better leave something for tomorrow, eh..

Day 11, Month 2- 100 day thing

Sorry, I've been sick again. It's been raining. The world has been arriving all week. So have all the police and the military. Maybe you've heard about the little event in Vancouver?

I'll write again tomorrow, I promise.. the whole 100 days thing.. is flawed for someone with a short attention span. Really.. should be broken down into 3x 33 day blocks.

she was all alone with her thoughts.. just a guitar and the sun to keep her company.

IMGP0004, originally uploaded by jilly71.

me and Bill

me and Bill, originally uploaded by jilly71.

day 7- month 2- 100 day thing

Sunday. Another day of feeling lost.  Life is hard sometimes. Not necessaily for me. Life could get hard though if I lost my job and ran out of money. It would take a year to get hard, I think.

No, it's just that there's so much crap and complaining and bullshit and ego's dancing. Sometimes all I want to do is curl up in the sunshine with a friend. Sometimes the way when you were a kid and you could take a nap with your friend and that was that. Life being simple instead of complicated and weird.

Did I mention that I went to Edison, Wa yesterday? The last time I was there I got some lovely photos. This time.. not so much. But, I did talk a business into opening and then spent nearly all my american coin because they let me invade their holiday. A pretty vintage planter, some stamps that say PEACH and LEMON, a couple of indie CD's and a pretty floral scarf. I had lunch in a tiny tiny bakery that grew all their vegetables in the yard next door. Slow Food Bakery or something. It was yum. Edison is yum.

Tomorrow.. I'm going to give my thoughts on hamlets and T intersections.

hey girly wanna apple?

IMGP0018, originally uploaded by jilly71.


Pike Market, Seattle. Jan 2010

day 5, month 2- 100 day thing

It's Friday.

I have been demoralized by the scale.

It's nothing really, but when you drop from a Levi size 34 to 27 and the scale shows a difference of 8 lbs. Maybe I shouldn't be using a scle that weighs shipping pallets?

I discovered something else.. should know people better before trying to take their pictures. It doesn't work very well for me. But then again.. I don't really take pictures of people very often. I should work on that.

Random quote from my favorite book that fits:

"She did not plan; she merely let herself go, and the overwhelming life in her did the rest. It is only when youth is gone and experience has given us a sort of cheap courage that most of us realize how simple things are."

Tha Crack Up- F. Scott Fitzgerald, pg 149

Day 4, Month 2- 100 day thing

The Olympics are coming. Any day now. Roads are being blocked off. There are suspiciously more cyclists on the roads. There are also alot more police. Weird buildings and tents are popping up and the Canada Flag is everywhere that you almost would think its Canada Day.

One great thing is they're making it really inconvenient to drive or park a car. Maybe they won't change back and roads will stay blocked and then eventually the concrete will crack and tiny flowers will grow. Then moss will take over and the wildlife will come back. 

It's going to be a strange month.

Day 3- Month 2- 100 day thing

A bomb went off in my personal life last night. Nothing too too traumatic. Actually, it had nothing to do with me. It was like I was sitting in a cafe and and the waitress blew up after she took my order. Figuratively people. Figuratively.It's not for public consumption.. just when you blog everyday I'll just vaguely explain the daily events. Tomorrow.. maybe it will be a poem.

I did a lovely thing for a friend of mine. They didn't know it was coming, but I got the hint they really like something of mine and then I made it happen for them. I think the world of them and I hope I put a spring in their step and a glide in their stride.

Patti Smiths' book 'Just Kids" is an exceptional read. I highly recommend it. 

Dairy, Sugar, flours- check
Other issue- 1 minute?

day 2- 100 day thing

Frack. Frick. I keep skipping days. I think I ate flour yesterday too.

Wow. Vancouver is changing with this Olympic Hoo Ha. Last night there were giant moombeams shot in to the sky off the Burrard Inlet. I can only imagine it's some kind of pagan offering to the athletic gods. Roads are closing, streets are blocked off and suspiciously every bus station shelter billboard is promoting the health benefits of Coke and McDonalds.. the top corporate sponsors.

I went out to catch some live music yesterday at a new funny little place called Corderoy. Food was good. Open mike was better. Maybe I'll be back.

day 1- month 2- 100 days

I cant count the days unless I go by the dates. So back to 1. Besides it's like another clean slate. It's business time now folks. We're in 57 day countdown. It's game on.

Lets see.. what's happened... I drove to Seattle and stayed in a fancy hotel and met fancy people and had a pretty fancy time. Some of it was pretty interesting and all I can say is I had one hell of a good time and then shut the door. I bought a jack on a necklace which has made a crap load of sense to me but oddly, not to very many other people. Which I find odd.

I drove home. Then I rented another car and drove to Chilliwack and put myself up in a old hotel with a clawfoot tub that punished me with a lack of hot water. How could you do that? I wandered around Chilliwack aimlessly spending money and treating myself to anti tomboy regimes of manicures and eyebrow shaping regimes. I even wandered into a makeup counter.

Then I got all dolled up and ran late to see my dear friend Bill play with his band Bop Ensemble, which was simply amazing. This girl playing bass... sang like listening to Rickie Lee Jones ala 'Chuck E's in Love' ..But it almost wasn't meant to be.. when I arrived.. all the doors were locked. I thought I was going to burst into tears. But oddly.. the last door in the back was unlocked and I walked in the backstage area.. past the belongings and CD's and was kind of alarmed at all that but so relived I was in the building. I waited with my heart thumping wondering if I could open the door and flood the theatre with light.. I snuck in like a feather of sun and I managed to get to a seat and let Bop fill my ears and heart with bliss. I missed seeing my old friend sing and play and I fell in heart with the band.. so sweet.

I shot this little video of him teaching me to clap flamenco the next morning..on my IPOD! I know.. shut the front door!

Then we said our sad goodbyes and went our separate ways again. I heart Bill.