my kitten

 She started coughing.. I guess you could call it that. Cat's don't really cough, but it's hard to describe. Kind of a gasping like she was trying to make herself clear her throat. She didn't throw anything up and then one day she did.. but the coughing happened again. Same thing.. no vomit. One day she pooped out kind of like a string and we thought.. oh.. she ate a piece of yarn and it was stuck in her throat. But one day she was back to coughing again. We theorized it was because her kitty window was gone and she wasn't eating grass the way cat's eat grass. We thought it was a hairball and we bought chewy treats to help dissolve hairballs. She's lost weight. We chaulked it up to stress. First we took her to the vet and had her shots up to date.. then we brought home a new kitten. Then we left for Christmas. We took the kitten back, then kids stayed with us. The kitty window went away. It was just kitty trauma. The last thing we thought was.. she has a cold.

 

Today she went to the vet and we described the scenarios. She's gotten into the yarn or she has a hairball. An x-ray would tell us the story and we'd walk away with a special kitty food. I think we both felt sick when we saw the cloudy mass. The vet pointed it out. It was pushing on her lung and it wasn't a hair ball. It's a tumor. He said the C word. She's lost weight. About a pound in the last year. Now and ultrasound and a biopsy is needed. Maybe surgery. Maybe it can stay. Maybe it's begnign and maybe it's going to get worse. She went in to have her rabies shots updated and he said not to bother until we knew more.

We're both a bit sad here at Casa Yewell- Trainor. It's costly. It's sad. We're fond of our feline companion. We've been a trio for nearly 8 years. She has character and spunk. She curls up with you and put one paw up when she wants to have a petting. She hangs out with you and just wants to be in charge. Don't pick her up. Let her do her thing. Don't put her in a box to take her someplace.. just let her sit in your lap and she's fine.. She just wants to be in charge.. and while she's been minding her own business.. her little body is having an act of rebellion. We're going to cross each bridge as we come to it and make the best decisions we can and be there for Ruby as much as we can.

ponderings

"Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not in being better than someone else." 

Nathaniel Branden

they meant new beginings

When I was a kid, we used to go to my granparent's farm alot. It was pretty boring some of the time, really. There was only so much snooping around the garage and barn you could do. But there was always great food and pitch black nights and it was peaceful. I don't think I really came to understand how much it all meant to me until it was almost gone. I guess I always thought it would be ours and I would always be able to drive up.

The house has been sold. I'm not "allowed" to snoop around the barn anymore or run my fingers over the grooves in the wood my grandfather made writing memories in carpenter's pencil on the wall of the garage. How many cows he owned on Sept 15 1957...or the horseshoe's he nailed to the wall. The lilacs that bloomed each early summer next to the white washed garage were barely acknowledged. They were just lilacs and they would always be there.

I moved away. I came back to visit less frequently. It wasn't until my gransmother's 90th birthday celebration at Hainstock that I realized the beauty and simplicity of lilacs. They were cut for table vases. Every table had sprigs of lilacs- pink, purple, white. Memories of the lilacs on the farm. Driving through Red Deer.. lilacs bushes bloomed. Lilacs were a memory of the praires and how much I enjoyed the fragrance of their summer blooms.

We'd sit at the kitchen table- next to the bay window that looked out on the lawn. My grandmother watched the birds and encouraged them to come to the window with birdseed feeders. Chickadee-dee-dee she would say. An occasional blue jay.. but always a robin would be looking for worms in the grass. My grandmother would always say that spring had arrived because there would be a "robin red breast" in the yard. It was a symbol for a new beginning and that winter was breaking.

I love these things..things from the farm. The wheat and barley fields. Yellow yellow Canola fields against blue blue skies. Tangled lines of barbed wire and roses that grow in ditches. Barn swallows dancing on the wind and peeling paint from an old barn or shed. Abandoned farmhouses and their secrets. Lilacs and robins and the peaceful simple air of a small Alberta town. I immortalize these things, pay homage to them permanently in my flesh. Yesterday I had lilacs and 2 robins tattooed on my leg. It's like a lace- delicate and worthy. An heirloom that can't be passed down.

new hobby

Catherine gave me a gift certificate for Birkeland Bros. I was holding out for the felted chickadee classes but ended up taking the felted bowl class. It was OK. I wasn't sure I was going to like it. Felting is not for the impatient. It takes about an hour to make a small bowl.. ot at least it did for me. Nor surprisingly,  enjoy tearing the wool apart. At the end after you rub it with soap for 25 minutes, you get to beat it so it will harden. Its like fiber clay. You can mold them. If I put a video on- I can successfully felt a bowl. 

Birkeland is pretty neat..They were the first building on main street to have a phone and the business has been in the Birkeland family for 80 years. The have a huge wool carding machine in the back that was brought over from England. Anyways.. it was fun. 100.00 gift certificate covered the class, materials to do 1 bowl and wool to make another 3 or 4 depending on the size.

Lush Life

Lush Life, originally uploaded by jacksforjill.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.




Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

found here

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The Fruteria

One of the most wonderful things I found in Buenos Aires was called the Fruteria. They all had these impressive stacked and cascading displays of fruit and veg pouring out into the street. I saw them everywhere and LOVED them. The 2nd greatest thing was the hand drawn signs. I was mesmerized..

This is one of my favorite photos from Buenos Aires..

hot

I've gone to 12 Bikram Yoga classes in 21 days.. not as many as I wanted to initially.. but I also didn't really know what the hell I was getting into. Whoa. Nothing can prepare you for 26 Yoga poses done twice over 90 minutes in a 104' F room at 40% humidity. I recommend about 3 litres of water a day or you'll have a constant headache. Lordy, I've never seen so much sweat pour off my flesh ever. It's like going swimming in air. I've also had loads of energy and great looking skin.

The first class I made it through to maybe 40 minutes before I was laying down, panting, curling into a fetal position and pretty much dying for the class to be over (they suggest you try and stay in the room and not leave and it is better to do this because you get used to the heat quicker). I heard the 9pm cannon go off in Vancouver and tried to steel myself for another 30 minutes while refusing to acknowledge the fact that I wanted to vomit. (this is normal in your 1st class)

But I digress, by the 3rd class I was saying to myself.. did they adjust the heat? Whoa.. why do I have goosebumps.. is that a cold chill? Oh hey.. I can bend over, put my hands under neath my heels and almost wrap my elbows behind my calves.. that's new. Oh dear god... I think I'm going to faint if I stand upright too quickly.

To reward my burgeoning flexibility, I bought myself some groovy lightweight shorts and a yoga mat from hotshot Vancouver yoga clotheshorse- Lululemon (lately a contributor to this local phenomenon..), learned a bit about electrolytes and I'm determined to make it to 18 classes in 30 days. I plan to keep going for 2 more months before I'll consider if I'm insane for wrapping myself into a pretzel in sauna with a teacher shouting "Lock your knees! Lock your knees! Lock your knees!"

adjustments

I've felt like crap for a while now. Maybe you've not noticed. Just bummed out. Even in Buenos Aires.. Just blahhed. I've had raging anxiety for years, low self esteem, lacking confidence and confused about a career direction and a poor diet for years and years. It was all starting to catch up to me and I was suffering from some pretty terrible thoughts.

I don't really know what to do about it all. Career direction is and has been a labyrinth maze I've been too exhausted to begin so I shuffle from adequate job to adequate job. If you have ideas.. do tell me. I simply don't know where to start most of the time..

But I did figure out someplace to start.. I started practicing Bikram Yoga 4-5 nights a week. I've dropped all sugar (except for fruit) and processed grains. I only eat low fat dairy and I try and eat vegetables, nuts, seeds, lean proteins. I drink alot of water and started taking an antidepressant to lessen depression and down moods. On Tuesday, I have an appointment with a life coach who is also an intuitive.

I want to make positive changes in how I'm feeling and I think it will help the rest fall into place.

Today, I am looking forward to my Bikram class. That's a start.

Recoleta Cemetery

IMGP0166, originally uploaded by jacksforjill.

Cure for the home from amazing holiday blues?? Take a holiday.

There's a Blues Festival in Victoria and it's a beautiful weekend. I've always wanted to take a road trip with my scooter and i found some directions that avoided the highways and with going a little bit out of the way.. I managed to get myself to Victoria on back roads ( a 50cc scooter is not permiteed on highways) I pretty much followed the routes found in this link which did take me through some great farms in Ladner and through a cow tunnel taking me under the 99 highway.. It was a bike path and I ignored the "no motorized vehicle" sign. It took me 5 hrs and half a tank of gas (about $5) to get here. I hope I can find my way back!!

3 hands

3 hands, originally uploaded by jacksforjill.

I'm working my way through 850 photos. I put up 80 or so to Flickr. This is by far the favorite of the set..

Snapped in the Feria San Telmo or the great street market of San Temlo that happens every Sunday and blocks off 15 blocks down Defensa. The most amazing this I ever saw and I'm glad I saw it.. I was never in Buenos Aires on a Sunday again.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feria_de_San_Telmo 

You can see more of today's upload here.. http://www.flickr.com/photos/jillsmooch/sets/72157627319577425/

home and rested

It was an epic 27 hr journey home. 4 flights, very little sleep and a sinus and chest infection as unwelcome luggage.

9 nose bleeds, 1 free breakfast and I finally landed in Vancouver.

2 days off from work to sleep, a prescription to an anti-biotic to stem off the infection in my sinuses, ears, lungs and throat ( I think it was the moldy hostel in Iguazu that did it) and I'm almost ready to believe I went anywhere to begin with. I'll have to reread my posts. Pictures will be up shortly.

I miss Buenos Aires. I miss Hostel Telmo Tango and the checkerboard floor.
I miss Peso's and Fruterias and the many street markets
I miss seeing people drink mate and I miss the traffic and amazing street grafitti
Most of all, I miss walking outside and being floored with ornate art nouveau balconies.

day 14- last full day

Today was my last full day in Buenos Aires. Have I seen all that I wanted to see? Have I done all that I wanted to do? How am I to know..I'm still quite sick, so I  kept todays events pretty low key but I wanted to still do something special.

I went to the fabled and art nouveau Cafe Tortoni and bought one of their espresso cups.. (maybe one day I´ll go back to Paris and get one from Cafe Deux Magots)

Teatro Colon is one of the most celebrated opera houses in the world. Pavarotti claimed the only problem with the acoustics was that they were perfect and it caused an issue for the singer as they would have to be perfect as well lest they be heard! It opened in 1908 and is considered one of the most celebrated buildings in Argentina. So, I figured I better go and an English tour was available at noon. It suited me since I didn't wake up until 10!

It was lovely, ornate and full of splendor and stained glass. I was a bit disappointed as the Lonely Planet guide said you could expect to visit the basement where the many seamstresses, costume makers, embroiderers and wig makers are employed. This didn't happen.. Maybe because they are preparing for an upcoming opera.

The theatre provides a free concert each month on one Sunday afternoon for the people of Buenos Aires. After seeing the theatre, I´ll put "see a ballet or opera in a world class opera house" on my list of things to do.

Afterwards, I returned to Recoleta Cemetery to view the beautiful Art Nouveau tomb that brought me here in the first place..I had forgotten to look in the side window.. The most amazing, carved marble tomb was there.. I will have to research the person buried there, for they have the most incredible resting place.

After, I made a valiant effort to walk for photos, but I ended up on the Subway or 'Subte" and sometimes it´s better to just stay above ground. The subway was ok for the first 2 stops and then a mass of humanity plunged into the train. I was crushed against the other side. If the train took a corner.. It didn't matter as there were so many other bodies there wasn't anywhere to move.

Had it not been for a breeze, the place where I was whe I could breathe.. I might have had a panic attack with being so stuffed up.. 1 stop.. 1 more.. I just told myself and when it was time to get off, I showed no mercy and shoved my way out and then sat on a bench and watched people cram themselves in until the doors would shut. Honestly, that subway must be totally inhumane in the summer. I cant imagine.

Finally, back at my hostel, Í took the longest and hottest shower I could. The tiny bathrooms fill up with dense steam and I think it's good for my stuffed up lungs. I headed out to a few blocks away.. to a cafe where I stopped in asking for directions one day and they were so gracious to help. So, I came back to La Poesia for dinner.

I brought my iPad so I could read at least.. Otherwise I'd feel awkward all alone. Thank god I did as no one speaks English here tonight, but with wifi and google translate, I was able to order:

Me gustaría pedir un bistec, bien hecho, con algunas verduras o una ensalada. una Diet Coke con limón algo único a la Argentina para el postre.

Or rather:

I would like to order a steak, well done with some vegetables or a salad. a diet coke with lemon. something unique to Argentina for dessert.

Dessert was creme caramel or "flan" with dulce de leche and whipped cream.. And a coffee with milk.

For my last night in Buenos Aires.. It was perfect..just perfect.

Here´s a good link on the cafe I went to.. 

http://wander-argentina.com/la-poesia-–a-literary-cafe-in-san-telmo/

My table was inscribed with Oscar Gonzalez and Rafael Alberto Vasquez

day 13- Madres of Plaza de Mayo

Every Thursday at 3:30 since 1977, the mothers of missing people from the last military regime in Argentina have marched in Plaza de Mayo in Buenos Aires. Guess where I'll be today at 3:30.

The goverment has claimed 9000 people were lost duringt he regime, but others say its closer to 30000. I´ve read bits and peices about the Dirty War.

One thing is for certain.. Buenos Aires is not a city that takes a situation lightly. There have been 3 rallys in the 2 weeks I´ve been here.

here´s a wiki link on the weekly protest

In other news.. I´m sick with the flu. Copious amounts of Advil and cough drops keep me on the move though.

Today.. La Boca again for photos, Plaza De Mayo at 3, maybe back to Chacarita

Friday- Palermo area, Modern Art Museum, Recoletta once again and for the last time..

Sat morning: San Telmo and airport by 1:30 or 2.. plane leaves at 3:30pm

day 12- street art

I took an really good tour of street art in Buenos Aires that I stumbled upon. I would highly reccomend it for someone just arriving in BA as at the end, I got some really cool tips that I dont have time for (like going to a working ranch.. not a tourist one!)

On my way to the meeting spot, I went to the other cemetary6 in town and its not so photographic.. but I did find a really amazing sculpture of a fallen giant angel being considered by 4 buzzards! Incredible.

I walked down a street away from the cemetary and found the Yerba Mate cup I wanted. They are everywhere and I´d been holding out for a special one. Its a gourd covered in pewter and then stamped with a design of a heart and flowers with Mi amo.. or my love. (this is after I htought I had found the onw.. hand carved with a spiral design and a hand carved straw from a street vendor.. both were 30 Peso or about $6..but I think I got a better de4al on the 2nd.)

A police officer came over to where I was standing with the street vendor near the cemetary.. presumably to watch over the transaction. He didn´t speak any English, but I tried to make conversation anyway. The street vendor spoke a little Engliish and told me the police officer had said I was really pretty. Then he whispered some Spanish and I said "no entiendo" or I dont understand.. but I get the distinct feeling it wasnt something anyone should translate..if you get my drift. Then a woman came up and they kissed.. but not in a general greeting way. The whole situation was really really odd so I bid my Ciao and left for the tour of street grafitti.

We walked in a certain are for a few blocks then a mini bus would drive us to a new area and we would walk. I´m officially with the flu, so this was not so fun to stand around and listen to the history of the politics involved etc.. although I did enjoy the tour and get some great photos. Here they are

day 11- 3 countries

I got on the bus yesterday at 3pm in Iguazu and it was as though the minute I sat down, my body said.. ok. we can get sick now. My throat just immediately got sore. Thank god they really know how to do long distance travel. The seats recline, there´s english movies and a nice man in a uniform comes by with lunch, dinner and breakfast and refills your tea and pop. So, I rested.. for 14hrs and took lozenges.

At one point the bus stopped somewhere and the military wer eon the bus checking passports and looking around. I thought it was a check stop about something, but I was able to get onto the bus wifi and I realized the bus had crossed the border into Paraguay. Too bad I didn´t get a passport stamp!!

The bus arrive din Buenos Aires at 8am. Retiro is a sketchy sketchy place. Its right next to a Villas Miseria or shantytown and the clientele in the bust station dont all look like they´re going somewhere. Very obviously its a pick pocket haven. Its dark, shadowy, busy and confusing for the non Spanish Traveller. I decided to get out and make haste for the ferry terminal even though my ferry wouldnt be leaving until 12:30.

The ferry building in BA is much nicer. Bright, modern and open... and a bit silly with giant Ikea paper lanterns hanging for decoration.

Finally I got on the ferry to Colonia and was picked up on the other end by a tour where they dropped us off at a restaurant for lunch. Then we had maybe 30 minutes to walk around.. I went back to the bus expecting everyone else from the ferry to be there but the tour was only me.. this was in a Greyhound sized bus! So, me the driver and the tour guide drove around Colonia. It was totally ridiculous. I felt like asking them to stop for my wanton photo desires but kept it to my self.

Afterwards, the tour guide and I walked around in old Colonia where she told me how Spain and Portugal fought over Uruguay for years and pointed out where you see stones.. it´s the Portugese and wen you see bricks its Spain and she pointed it out over and over again. At this point my throat and head and achey and I´m into flu- like symptoms.. I just kept smiling. Then she said.. you now have free time until 7:30. It was like 3:30 in the afternoon.

I walked very slowly, took photos, spent my money and found an interesting photographer selling his images. I flipped thorugh the stacks and thought.. these are my photos. snippets of grafitti, old doors, peeling paint and old trucks in fields..

"I take the same photos as you".
"oh..yes.. lots of people take these photos in Colonia"
"no.. I mean I take these photos in Canada. I have pictures of doors and peices of peeling paint and old trucks but from the prairies"
"I love the rusted wrought iron and seeing a beauty in decay"
I smiled.. "We share the same esthetic, I think."

He was great. I liked his stuff alot and bought one of his trucks for 40US. I think I will send him a print when I get home.


I finally got back to Buenos Aires.. have 4 stamps in my passport (Uruguay was generous) and am just knackered.. tomorrow is a big day for photos.. off to the other cemetary and then a tour for street grafitti. Will treat myself to a nice dinner and an early night.. the end is creeping up slowly..

Here´s some photos of Colonia..

Day 10- me.. in the moldy hostel..

Day 10- videos of the falls

Two little videos I made (thanks for my Iphone) of the Iguazu Falls.. 



This one I tried to make something so I was experiencing with tese walk ways over the rushing water, the incredible views.. all the people in cheap white plastic coats and of course.. the monkeys!



I hope you like them.