I'd busted my ass over something. I think I remember it vaguely.. I was about 10. We'd been instructed in school to decorate a shoebox for a picnic. The idea was to pack a lunch in your decorated shoe box and some lucky fella would pick your shoe box and the sun would shine through the clouds on a biblical day while you ate your lunch on the grass while blue birds chirped in your ears.
My grandiose plans didn't come to fruition and I was let down and disappointed. I think it set an early tone for the concept of goals. What was the point of setting them if for all your hopes and dreams and skills they didn't come true? An early experience coupled with the instinctive reaction of "what's the point" set deep into a brain chasm.. "well.. that was pointless".
Sounds dreadful and dire doesn't it. I suppose I was a rather dreadful and dour child as well. But it set a tone for the concept of goals.. "Don't you have goals Jill?". I'm not kidding- I would feel perplexed by the MEANING of the word 'goal'. Like it was a touchdown. A goal? A score? 1 point for me, 0 for ....I remember being asked.. "where would you like to be in 5 years or 10 years" and I literally thought at a young age.. how can you even decide that.. what's the point when a car could speed around a corner and schmuck you.
I'm afraid since some pivotal moment of early failure.. I've put off the concept of "goals". I have to restructure it in my head as a "I'll try this out for a while" concept. As thought, if I put a period to the sentence, I'll erase the paragraph.
Nonetheless- I understand the concept of working towards something, albeit vaguely and I give it a go now and then.
Today is Nov 1. I'm trying out a few things. I'll tell you about them later. For now.. Idea #1- is to participate in National Blog Posting Month.
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