power walk to Central Park-Upper Westside, NYC

IMGP2376.JPG, originally uploaded by jill y.

IMGP2250.JPG, originally uploaded by jill y.

notes on NY

- the food was amazing with large portions and reasonable prices. We ate many meals at Cafe Champignon on 7th ave, around the corner from the Chelsea and Kashkaval , near the Hudson Hotel. Kashkaval had scrumptious cheese fondues of which I had twice!

-Speaking of Cheese.. there appears to be only one or two specialty cheese shops in all of NY. other than that- you have of course, Dean & Deluca and Balducci's for your one stop gourmet shop.

-there is no recycling evident. For a city of that stature, I was surprised to see metal waste bins brimming with plastic bags, bottles, paper and discarded newspapers. Surprised at the amount of packaging forced upon your purchases. 2 pieces of pizza wielded 2 paper plates, 2 pieces of tin foil, 2 paper bags, and an offer of a 3rd. Plastic bags were offered constantly. Even when I bought reusable bags at The Strand, I was offered a plastic bag for them. There were places that upon entering, offered a long plastic bag for your umbrella.

-alot of people own big dogs. Where do they put them? Thank goodness for the off leash dog runs in most parks. I couldn't believe the size of the dogs. Must be the equivalent of the phenomenon of the size of a personal vehicle equates to someones financial stature. If you have a large dog, therefore, you have a large apartment= $$. Alternatively, we also noticed the absence of cats. None in the quaint village streets, nor sitting in windows or bookshops.

- the city constantly has scaffolding and appears to be in a constant state of repair. While in town, Bloomberg announced a website where citizens could report a pot- hole to assist with the upkeep of NYC.

-people in NY all need a lesson in umbrella etiquette.

chelsea nights

Dreams do come true. Sometimes you have to pay for them though. But whatever..it's a dream. And mine was to sleep in the Chelsea Hotel. And if I could get a balcony room- that'd be swell. Throw in 12 foot ceilings, a kitchen and 2 beds and Michael and I are in heaven.

(Last 2 nights we stayed in the Hudson Hotel which was ridiculously expensive,painted entirely in the color of muddy grey, dimly lite and room was the size of a small shoebox. The bed was stiff as the starched sheets babysitting a sheet of feather duvet masquerading as a blanket.A bottle of water on the table that proudly announced it could be ours to quench for only $7.95 made us feel completely at home. The finishing delight was the hotel lost a gift bag that was left at the front desk for me!!)

But now, it is so much better. I'm in the Chelsea. Free to wander around and take photos. Free to talk to the residents. Free to linger in the lobby and soak up all the history, energy and secretly for 2 days, pretend that I too live at the Chelsea Hotel.

what to do on a Friday night in Brooklyn

Alex Itin: Reading Room, originally uploaded by alex itin.

Luckily, Michael and I will be in NY and really.. it's not like we have anything else to do but watch TV in the Chelsea Hotel!!

By the way.. a little background.. I "met" Alex Itin when he randomly commented on a photo I published to Flickr. A few comments exchanged and a few emails after that, it turned out that he was a friend of a good friend of mine. The randomness of it all is astounding.

not your everyday walk around the block

I got an email this morning.. my mother is out walking..

"Walked 23 K today. We stopped for coffee, lunch beside a lovely forest stream and then for a beer. The weather remains great, warm & sunny. Today our trail took us through a lot of country side and forest. Saw and smelled Eucalyptus trees, also saw lots of pine, oak, ferns, and vineyards everywhere. Saw a family harvesting the grapes today, standing on boxes in the field beside a wagon. There is also a lot of corn, sometimes in the front or back yard or anywhere there is an acre or two of land..

We have 43 K left to walk. The trail is quite well marked with signs - yellow scallop shells on posts with the kilometers or yellow arrows on posts, stone walls, the pavement, and wherever. We have to keep watch as we walk to avoid having to go back to the last sign. And everywhere there are shrines. The local people are very friendly and wave and smile and sometimes give us blessings. Sometimes older women lean out of their upstairs windows to greet us. The older women all wear dresses and aprons."

My mother is walking the El Camino De Santiago and she is officially renewed her membership as my personal hero.

top 10 things to do

1. embroider christmas gifts
2. publicly display my photographs for money
3. loose 30-40 lbs
4. accept the natural opportunities in life
5. pay someones rent
6. ride everyday for a week then a month
7. visit buenos aries
8. knit the slippers from the cashmere wool I bought 2 years ago..
9. tidy the tickle trunk
10. kill the gym member ship

walk in style

I was curious about Ked's new "shoe studio" and decided to play around. I picked a random photo I had of one of my favorite flowers, but the possibilities are endless.

And you know you are a "wild rose" and if you must, you can buy the shoe here.

after the rain

IMGP0475.JPG, originally uploaded by jill y.

dreams

It's not on my list of 100 things to do before I go, but it should be and it should be number one.

I've wanted to do this for years...

I've dreamed about this...

I've adored the idea of...

Staying in the Chelsea Hotel in NYC.

And I'm going to do it and it's costing a pretty penny but I'm going to do it. Vespa's can wait until next year. (Maybe)

chelsea, originally uploaded by jill y.

Cuban Gems

I loved Cuba. Loved it more than I thought I would. Loved it despite the heat. Loved it despite the lack of pubic transportation. Loved it despite the dirty and matted wild cats and dogs that roamed the streets in near death. I loved Cuba. I want to go back. I have finally put all my photos up on Flickr, but here are my absolute favorites.

Psst.. they're for sale too.

blue

blue, originally uploaded by jill y.

calling all creative types

This site needs a revamp. Know what I'm saying?? Seriously. The Coca Cola font need to go. I'm looking for mastheaders, blog creators, html'ers and all you in my homeotown of Edmonton to drop in and say hi. I see you.

love,
Jill

travels abroad

IMGP2073.JPG, originally uploaded by jill y.

We met when I was walking on my way to get a passport photo. He drove past me in a something or other that was not like the rest of the cars on the road. It was a Bronco or something. He was cool. I waved at him. I'd seen him around.

He lived in my neighborhood and we hung around the same bar, playing pool and shooting the shit. I'm not entirely sure what put us together. One day Alf just put his arm around me and that was that. Caveman style. But, strangely, we used to go for brunch with his parents and we both liked pea coats.

I stayed with him just before I left for Europe, borrowing a cashmere sweater. I remember coming back to his apartment with 5 grand in traveller's cheques and throwing them around in an odd excitement. I figure we dated for about 3-4 months before that and I went to the Heineken Brewery just for him.

One day he found the hostel number of where I had been living in Edinburgh and called the public phone. Someone got me and there he was calling from around the word to wish me a Happy Canada Day. It's that kind of thing that makes up for the tine I caught him in his robe with the dodgy girl next door.

But that was Alf.

Salty and Sweet. Like salt water taffy. I saw him walking towards me in a random crowd of Folk festers and was stuck on him again. We ended up meeting later and I snapped this.

And its too bad I didn't take a picture of us together.

IMGP2016.JPG, originally uploaded by jill y.

rhymes with heaven

back in the day, originally uploaded by jill y.

Back when I was about 17, I lived with my boyfriend. Earlier, we had met in a serendipitous manner by, believe it or not, by having a silent conversation from across a street. Punctuated by hand gestures, we connected and one of us crossed the street. That night we went for a walk long down Whyte Avenue to an abandoned slaughter house- our first "date". We explored and talked and laughed. His name was Evan and I could only remember it by remembering it rhymed with heaven. We were together from that point on.

One day we went to a tattoo parlor, on my suggestion, and had matching 8 petal daisies of yellow and green forever etched into our wrists. I still have mine. He covered up his. But back then we cold hold hands and our flowers would match.

On another day, I got an eviction notice from the rooming house I was living in and he invited me to live with him. Everyday he wrote me a note and taped a loonie to it. That was my bus fare to high school. I don't remember much of those days really. Of catching the bus and being in class and talking with friends. I remember being with Evan.

I remember when we broke up. When we cried and I yelled. When I slammed down the phone and when I burned all the letters. I had kept every one in a coffee can. I lite them all on fire and watched them turn to sooty ash in a the crisp white snow, turning to liquid around the corners of the can. And I remember the years he wouldn't talk to me despite my best efforts.

I'm really glad that 20 years later, we are friends again. I met up with Evan at the Edmonton Folk Festival and whatever it was that sparkled in his eyes the day I first met him, I saw it again and adored him still.

IMGP2080.JPG, originally uploaded by jill y.

visual feasting

Much quicker than my photos from Cuba (which aren't all up, mind you), I have posted all my photos from a recent trip to Edmonton.

You can see the Edmonton Photos here and the photos of Fort Edmonton here.

I hope you like them.

people caught in pictures dancing, always look like they are doing the zombie walk.

IMGP1952.JPG, originally uploaded by jill y.

Edmonton Folk Fest!!

fall down and get back up

I slipped up. Relapsed. Fell off the wagon. How many other euphemisms are there for fucked up? I wish I could say what it is that I messed up on but I can't. I can't write it here and I can say it to anyone either. It's just one of those things. It's like having a friend that's a secret drunk and they come to you and tell you that they drank again, but they vow to stop the next time and all you hear after a while are the excuses. And it's frustrating to watch. That's me, but I'm not a secret drunk.

So I can't tell anyone I fell off the wagon. I can't say how hurt and ashamed and remorseful I feel because it will go away and likely it will happen again. And I'll fool myself into thinking it doesn't matter. No amount of opening up will bring any sort of aid or support. But I had to tell someone. Say something.

I fucked up. I fell off the wagon. It hurts. I'm sad and full of regret.

Now I'll get myself back up, dust off my bloody knees and carry on.

Thanks for listening.

oil town

oil, originally uploaded by jill y.

a trip back in time

Today, me and my friend Tracy are going for a fierce ride. Likely 15 k to go back in time. We'll snake through downtown, across the High Level Bridge, over to the southside Farmer's Market, through the neighbourhood where I grew up, down one fierce hill and voila.. we'll be at Fort Edmonton.

I have adored Fort Edmonton in the past. I think it's been about 25 years since I have been there though. I have a sneaking suspicion that the Fort is partly to blame for my fascination with all things 1930's antique- which is really things left over from the turn of the century. Whatever it is, I enjoy the people in costumes, the old stores where you can buy rock candy, the hotel and restaurants and wood slat boardwalks.

vow

I took one to not eat meat for 30 days. In an unprovoked incident, I broke the vow within 36 hrs. Very unconsciously ordered blackened chicken at Dadeo's. It was an automatic gesture and I thank girth that I didn't choose the blackened chick po'boy (the choice of so many visits.)But it arrived and I started to eat and completely realized that I had taken a 'declaration' of sorts. I realized that me eating meat is may be an automatic, possibly desired, accidental occurrence.

Must be more diligent.

end of the road

IMGP1931.JPG, originally uploaded by jill y.

out in rural Alberta

My calf looks like a barely missed the grips of a grizzly bear and I could run with that story since I've been out in rural Alberta not minding my own business. But it's much more foolish than that. Nothing really, I stumbled, fell and graciously snagged a bike with my flesh.

(I would like to mention, with considerable blood appearing from my wound, 3 people walking down the street, gawked at me, made comments to themselves..."oh my gawd."-and kept walking!)

IMGP1941.JPG, originally uploaded by jill y.

Despite this minor injury, I endured numerous inclinations to incline towrds the top of Gallager Hill in search of choice vantage points. The Edmonton Folk Fest did get off to a rocky start but ended up being really sweet.

IMGP1954.JPG, originally uploaded by jill y.

currency

IMGP1857.JPG, originally uploaded by jill y.

Today I stood in the middle of my ill-spent youth.
By the hockey benches
and green grass rinks
where I smoked illicit cigarettes
after school
and played truth or dare with boys.

I walked down the alley's of my adolescence
and stole the sweet and tender young raspberries
from the bushes that defiantly taken root
on the wrong side of the fence.

Riding by a park,
I remembered the day when my friend told me
she lost her virginity in a hotel room
to a man she met in a bar.
We swung high on the swing sets,
our converse sneakers and feet dangling.
Kicking at the dust of our childhood
while we spent the shiny coins of our youth.

walking

walking with jill, originally uploaded by djkreutzer.

I came to visit Edmonton. To visit some old friends and find new ones.

Darlene and I know each other through our online presence. I can't exactly remember how it started. It may have been flickr, as I remember she had a photograph of an old friend. Well, however it began, we finally had an opportunity to meet. And she brought her fabulous husband as well.

A lovely time at the Sugarbowl for a light lunch and later a few Strongbow's and in between a walk around the University area. She snapped this photo and if you click on it, you'll find more of her generous talent.

It's one of my favorite photos of me. Thanks Darlene.

cheese

cheese, originally uploaded by jill y.

nuff said

men on the mind

IMGP1782.JPG, originally uploaded by jill y.

a cut above the rest

I took a wee journey while in London. I headed to Liberty's for mannequin photos, then headed down Regent St and over to Savile Row- which was rather boring. For some reason I thought it would be interesting but I only learned what the word bespoke meant:

2.British.

a.	(of clothes) made to individual order; custom-made: a bespoke jacket.

b.	making or selling such clothes: a bespoke tailor.

But cutting across Burlington Gardens and through the Burlington Arcade to Piccadilly and then Jermyn St in search of 200 year old Cheesemongers, I stumbled across Taylor of Old Bond St. Which was really exciting.

Ever since Michael bought a Safety Razor from Farfalla in Vancouver to avoid what he tenderly calls "land fill razors", I have been hooked. I adore the old school style, the class and permanency of the delicate little nickle plated unit. I snagged it from him and declared it my own as he didn't like the small handle.And so luckily for Michael, I found this lovely shaving shop and found him the long handled version. Now we're both gleefully portaging the plastic razors, packaging, and shitty quality of the entire shaving aisle in your local drugstore slash supermarket. Check out the link for Taylor's. You can buy them online.

One thing to note: we'll still go back to get our safety blades, which ironically continue to be sold, despite not having the safety razors.

Go figure.




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not exactly as planned

The 2nd half of my transcontinental journey has not gone exactly according to plan.

Just thought I'd mention that.

One one hand I've been slapped back to my senses thankfully with one too many Strongbow. Unfortunately, I made quite a fool of myself in the process. And wasted time and resources. Oh well, a lesson has been learned and no one was hurt.

On the other hand, the weather has not been very cooperative either. I clearly thought that I made a reservation with the sun for this week with brief visitations of lightning and thunder after 8pm. I don't think the weather got my memo. I'm a bit disappointed.

I do have my bike, I am in Edmonton and I look forward to seeing old friends and meeting new ones.

a return to the prairies

barbed wire1, originally uploaded by jill y.

tell the women we're going

IMGP1766.JPG, originally uploaded by jill y.

I have no idea why I like the title for this photo except I tried to stay ip all night so that I would sleep on the plane. There's some weird time travelling going on where I leave at 3pm and get to Edmonton at 5pm. But I believe in my heart, I will be in the air for 8 hours.

onwards to cheese.

3 blind mice, see how hey run

Tomorrow is in honor of cheese. Whenever I am in Europe, I always forget to seek out cheese shops. But not this trip. I have 3 on my list for tomorrow's ear;y morning adventure around London.

1st up is Harrods. Not exactly on the top of my list but it's novelty factor plays a role. I'll try not to get lost in the apple depts. Time is ticking.

Getting to the cheese and dairy-produce hall at Harrods involves passing between mountains of bread, still-life fish displays and orchards of luscious fruits. Once you arrive, you risk being overwhelmed by the hundreds of cheeses sourced around Britain and Europe. - 50 Best Cheese shops for Foodies.

next is a classic: Paxton & Whitfield

Established in St. James's for nearly 200 years, this foodie landmark offers an anthology of cheeses from around the world as well, as some of Britain's finest traditional hams, pork pies, chutneys, biscuits and a selection of excellent wines. Most of the cheeses are artisan produced and displayed on marble or wooden shelves, but are maintained by modern temperature and quality control systems. -50 Best Cheese shops for Foodies.

Further along, I'll be tasting the samples at another well established cheesemonger:
Neil's Yard Dairy
. They've been in the business for 25 years and are known as one of London's best known cheese shops. I'm after their visual. I think.

and finally, the last stop on my cheese train is Fortnum & Mason, but ironically, I'll likely have tea instead...

Fortnum and Mason in Piccadilly is often referred to as the original London tea house. Having served tea in this area for almost 300 years, their reputation is second to none and they continue to offer an extensive stock of over 100 different blends, from countries such as China, India, Japan and Sri Lanka. Afternoon tea is served in the St James' Tea-room. Choose from a Traditional Tea, a Champagne Tea or High Tea.

bubbles

bubbles, originally uploaded by jill y.

blue eyes

blue eyes, originally uploaded by jill y.

This is Heidi's beautiful baby, Indie.

if only

I could pretend many things while I stay at the hotel I'm at. The rolling hills of the English Countryside, the 208 acres of private grounds with a variety of ruins and hidden parks buttoning the paathways, the wafts of heather from the nearby fields add the mister to mysterious..

But truth be told.. I am at work. But it is a lovely place to be at work.

today on the other side of the world

IMGP1581.JPG, originally uploaded by jill y.

I met up with my best friend from 20 years ago. We had some strange fight that I forgot the details of and never saw each other again until today. I wondered how it would be or would we still hate each other. Funny how the emotions and memories get stuck in a moment. But it was instead so lovely to see my old friend and meet her new life, her partner and her adorable little baby.

She took me to Walpole Park in Ealing, London to enjoy a jazz fest. We walked and talked and shopped and gawked. She said it wasn't fancy but she had some strawberries and cheese and crackers.

I said it's always fancy when there's cheese.

noteworthy? you bet

IMGP0098.JPG, originally uploaded by jill y.



I was definitely not supposed to be in the bar. But I was. The band was called the Throbtones and the bass player was something else. It all started in a smoky room with 2 chairs and a little conversation and ended with a climb down a rickety fire escape. The years ticked on and for many our connection was off the hook- dead, no one was picking up. Once- I hung up. Maybe he did too.

But as thought we were on a journey we didn't know about, one day we found ourselves standing next to each other again. And so it has been. A secret holiday with no known destination. One day he and me are in the same place again and just like that the mysterious stranger is in our lives. Most, I think would give up on a stranger's acquaintance, but what is really worth mentioning is that 20 years later, we are still friends.

To me he is still intriguing and mesmerizing and I'd climb back up that fire escape for another cup of tea any day of the week.

How could I forget about Cuba?

IMGP0581.JPG, originally uploaded by jill y.

But I almost did. I just put up more photos. You can find them here. By the way, I found this choice cut of pork while walking down the street in Vinales.

make it 639

I didn't know there had been so many attempts but I intend to check it out. I also didn't know that the Centre for Socialist Education was so close to my home. I have a sneaking suspicion that this may be a viewing in the basement of someones house, a bootlegged taping of a TV program. Mnn.. donations accepted..I'll take a tuna casserole.

little blue birds..

little blue birds.., originally uploaded by jill y.

one day in Tokyo- animated conversation

one day in Tokyo- animated conversation, originally uploaded by jill y.

Noteworthy figure- Charlotte

Once upon a time I lived in a little tiny apartment that had no walls to separate the bathroom from the bedroom from the kitchen. I found solace in the fact that next door was a raven haired beauty named Charlotte. Most of the time Charlotte would be at home constructing run on sentences and perfecting punctuation. The rest of the time she would be out climbing hillsides in muddy long underwear and bug repellent with a shovel and a bag of baby trees. I thought she was kind of peculiar, but cool.

During the home times I could mosey up to her kitchen window and order myself a coffee with soy and have an engaging conversation of stolen witticisms. We got to know each other over tissue paper, balloons and a lot of glue. Once she gave me her book and later, she gave me her apartment. I miss having Charlotte as a neighbor.

She is noteworthy.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
A dinner table surrounded by loved ones.

2. What is your current state of mind?
Boggled.

3. What is your greatest fear?
Loss.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Bossiness.

5. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Laziness.

6. What is your greatest extravagance?
It's a tie: gourmet ingredients and shoes.

7. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Beauty.

8. What is that you most dislike?
Privilege without responsibility.

9. On what occasion do you lie?
Deep personal exposure.

10. What do you dislike about your appearance?
Pimples.

11. What is the quality you most like in a man?
It's a tie: versatility and a sense of humour.

12. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Ditto.

13. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Other people's witticisms.

14. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Words.

15. When and where were you happiest?
Now.

16. Which talent would you most like to have?
To speak several languages fluently.

17. What do you consider to be your greatest achievement?
Planting a million trees.

18. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
I wish I could learn faster.

19. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what do you think it would be? A tree.

20. What is your most treasured possession?
My laptop.

21. what do regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Hardened addiction.

22. What is your most marked characteristic?
Softness.

23. What do you most value in your friends?
Loyalty.

24. Who are your favorite writers?
Too many to list.

25. Who is your favorite hero of fiction.
Frank Bascombe.

26. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Dorothy Parker.

27. Who are your heroes in real life?
Hillary Clinton. Joan Didion.

28. What are your favorite names?
Huh?

29. What is your greatest regret?
Hurting people.

30. How would you like to die?
Sleeping.

it's a nice day to start again

it's a nice day to start again, originally uploaded by jill y.

I went to the Billy Idol show tonight. I took a lot of pictures and you can see them if you want.

meeting the walrus

"In 1969, a 14-year-old Beatle fanatic named Jerry Levitan, armed with a reel-to-reel tape deck, snuck into John Lennon's hotel room in Toronto and convinced John to do an interview about peace. "

This is quite something and a visual feast. Please don"t leave without hitting play.

did I mention I have Cat Power tickets at the Edmonton Folk Fest??

Noteworthy Figure- Sonia

My friend Sonia is my "ethnic friend" as we once joked. She is full of color and texture and visual glory. Once we found that we both talked to the same artist in New York City years apart and it's shit like that that says to me- I'm supposed to know this person. And I'm grateful that I do. She brings thoughtful intelligence, worldliness, boldness and humor along with her like tiny sweet candies to slip into your closed palm.

She is noteworthy...


1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Feeling completely relaxed and proud of living a life where I haven’t compromised.

2. What is your current state of mind?
Ready to make some sort of change. Not sure exactly what that means.

3. What is your greatest fear?
Being blind.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Easily guilt ridden.

5. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Insincerity.

6. What is your greatest extravagance?
Having a group of healers in my life to help me along – Personal Trainer, Hypno-therapist, Reiki & Massage Therapist & my Zy Qigong instructor.

7. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Backward 3rd World ideals of femininity & Fucked up Forward 1st World ideals of femininity.

8. What is that you most dislike?
Sexism, Racism & Rain.

9. On what occasion do you lie?
When there is no other possible option – or when it seems like there is no other option at the time.

10. What do you dislike about your appearance?
My weight.

11. What is the quality you most like in a man?
Honour & compassion.

12. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Honour & compassion.

13. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Like, Awesome, Really?

14. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My mind, my Eyes & Printmaking.

15. When and where were you happiest?
At ECIAD , in L.A., in NYC, at Burningman

16. Which talent would you most like to have? Understanding Physics.

17. What do you consider to be your greatest achievement? Finding & Feeling the Mind & Body connection.

18. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? To not over think things.

19. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what do you think it would be? Orange and Alizarin Crimson coloured energy.

20. What is your most treasured possession? My music collection.

21. What do regard as the lowest depth of misery? Feeling colourless.

22. What is your most marked characteristic? I’ve got attitude.

23. What do you most value in your friends? That I can learn to see things from different perspectives from different people.

24. Who are your favorite writers? James Baldwin, Salman Rushdie, Vikram Seth

25. Who is your favorite hero of fiction. Don’t have one.

26. Which historical figure do you most identify with? ?

27. Who are your heroes in real life? My parents, not as my parents, but, as people.

28. What are your favorite names? Priya.

29. What is your greatest regret? That I have programmed myself to be okay alone.

30. How would you like to die? Happily when I am ready.

Street Photographer

the crown graphic, originally uploaded by kenyee.

Back in 2004 when I first went to NYC.. I scowered the streets. I walked everywhere all day long and one day I met this man. I remembered a photo my mother had taken of her walking down the street and she said "back then there were street photographers who would take you photo." Louis Mendez was one of those rare breed of photographers.

I let him snap my photo that day and he gave it to me in a touristy card like what you would get when you visited Santa Claus in a mall. He signed it with his number and it says.. good luck..

I treasure that photo from a street photographer and maybe one day will show it to my own kids.

looking at you, originally uploaded by Benzadrine.

the epitome of childhood

IMGP1397.JPG, originally uploaded by jill y.

The kids in the neighbourhood reminding everyone that dirt is healthy, fun and good for you.

pg 136 of issue 575

I adore Vanity Fair magazine. It's my one magazine indulgence apart from the stupid ones I get when I need to fly somewhere. Maybe Vanity Fair is stupid too but I always learn some weird pop culture fact that I get to slot into witty conversation cuz you know these things are important to me. Sadly, the mag recently did away with it's horoscope and I still feel the pangs of that loss as I flip from the last page in in search of it.

One thing that always tends to amuse me is the Proust Questionnaire. The 30 or so questions answered by some noteworthy public figure. This month.. it's me..next month or next week.. I'll try and feature various noteworthy public figures from my own life..

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
creamsicles while sitting on a dock, ankles splashing in the water

2. What is your current state of mind?
Overstimulated and a bit lonely

3. What is your greatest fear?
being cold and alone

4. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
weakness of will; impatience towards others

5. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
snobbishness

6. What is your greatest extravagance?
tattoos and cheese

7. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
obedience

8. What is that you most dislike?
bigotry and mushrooms

9. On what occasion do you lie?
almost never except when I have made plans I want to get out of

10. What do you dislike about your appearance?
weight gain

11. What is the quality you most like in a man?
mischievousness

12. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
ability to forgive

13. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
"is that OK?"

14. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
my maternal grandfather

15. When and where were you happiest?
Living in a hostel in Edinburgh

16. Which talent would you most like to have?
to draw

17. what do you consider to be your greatest achievement?
quitting smoking

18. if you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
I would be taller

19. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what do you think it would be?
a feather duvet

20. What is your most treasured possession?
a bench my grandfather made

21. what do regard as the lowest depth of misery?
clinical depression

22. What is your most marked characteristic?
one eye half brown half blue; sterness

23. what do you most value in your friends?
compassion

24. Who are your favorite writers?
John Kennedy Toole, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Dalton Trumbo

25. Who is your favorite hero of fiction.
Pooh; Ignatious O'Reilley

26. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
I don't know enough about history to relate.

27. Who are your heroes in real life?
my maternal grandmother, Janis Joplin, Diane Arbus;

28. What are your favorite names?
Alberta, Agnes, Jack, Penny, Frank; Rockerfeller, Anita;

29. What is your greatest regret?
not turning around before getting on that flight home

30. How would you like to die?
in a cuddle under a feather duvet

before and after

before and after, originally uploaded by jill y.

I'm slowly getting my tattoo finished. After Theresa at Electro Lady Lux basically tattooed the equivalent of a pencil mark after 2 sessions totally $1100, and refusing to fix it, I have sat for an entire relining and shading session totalling nearly the same again.

Like I said to someone... some people spend $2000 on stupid shit that these loose or smash up. I spent $2000 on something I'll have forever.

you must obey

you must obey, originally uploaded by jill y.

it's business time...

IMGP0505.JPG, originally uploaded by jill y.

another letter..

Dear Master of the Internet and Retail Therapy.

I wanted to express my disappointment in your ill planned services. While I am very grateful for the ability to order hoodies with whatever I want on them from a sweatshop in Brooklyn and pretty much purchase a ticket to circumnavigate the globe should my credit limit be enough, I have notice a few discrepancies.

It's not that you can order and pay for sex over the Internet. Or that you can have Gap clothes, flowers, or dried monkey penis from Asia delivered to your door, all very lovely. Even furniture and bed sheets from LL Bean can be procured. What I find so mildly alarming is that food is a shear no go. You can not pay for a pizza on line with a credit card and have it delivered without actually being at the destination. Flowers from Chile where children bleed hourly from thorns dipped in pesticide- yes. Pizza in Edmonton- No.

Could you fix this, please? Thanks ever so..

Jill

cole's notes version

Alfred Hitchcock's Birds in 1 minute 40 seconds.

a letter

Dear Ill Spent Youth,

I've been thinking about you lately and I thought I'd drop in and say hi. It's been a while since the two of us hung out. I'm sorry I ditched you so inappropriately that one day when I decided to fire my life. The shenanigans had gone on long enough and I figured it was time for a change. But I was kidding myself when I thought that I had cattily ditched our friendship for that of Adult Responsibility. Who was I kidding?? You've stayed with me like a constant mosquito bite in the middle of my back. Always itching, never quite scratched.

Despite the years of regular employment and timely rent cheques, you mostly been quite amiable to lurk around in the background. Thank you for not messing things up for me too much. Like that time you drove me to wear that silly vintage dress and cowboy boots, or when you convinced me too many drugs the night before a big exam was a good idea. I forgive you for those- sort of. That time you made me miss the cement stairs altogether and chipped my front tooth was particularly annoying. Or was it the booze?

We had some fun times. Do you remember? The red wine vomit staining the freshly fallen snow? The fire escape of the Commercial Hotel at 4 am? Or my personal favorite- inviting the police into my apartment and being arrested for stolen street signs. Wild times my friend, wild times. I think we both mostly came out unscathed. Except maybe for that time Heidi and I took acid at the Saturday Afternoon Blues Jam and went off with some weirdo with a van to smoke a joint. I'm pretty sure I left behind part of my brain in the parking lot that day.

But, I digress- you've given me a few presents along the way that I carry proudly with me while I slog further into grown up land. Beautiful chosen scars inked into my arms proudly displaying my youthful days on the Alberta Prairies for one and a irreverent and mischievous attitude that leads me to great photographs and grand adventures are all you- Ill S. Youth. You're willful spirit and deviant attitude luckily have been washed against the shores of experience and smoothed down. Jagged beach glass is no fun for anyone, really..

Anyways, I'm coming to find you, by the way- minus the drugs. Returning to the scene of the crime. To smell the crackling air and taste the electricity. To run amok, hand in hand, with you old friend. I can hardly wait.

Yours in crime,
Jill

we were not twins

we were not twins, originally uploaded by jill y.

havana hearts

havana hearts, originally uploaded by jill y.

silent stories not often told for nightime

My creation, originally uploaded by jill y.

portal to another world, originally uploaded by jill y.

Many many open doors lined the streets of Havana. I couldn't figure out if the guest was the wind or a friend with gossip. They all represented a choice and often a glimpse into another world where once ornate tiles and banisters gleamed in abundance. Long shattered, torn away or left to collect pre 1959 dust.

Wind whispering sometimes tales in silent dusty swirls.

breathed life

breathed life, originally uploaded by jill y.